Mums Diaries

5 years ago...

2011-06-24T11:13:00.000-04:00

5 years ago I said 'I do' and I haven't imagined my life being any better.
5 years ago he and I lived in an apt.
5 years ago we were younger and ambitious.
Since then, we have travelled around the world, and we have gained new experiences. We've established a life together, rescued a cat, and we became a unit.
Since then, we've bought our first home, and have completed a few renovations together.
Since then, we have had a child, taken in another stray cat, and raised 4 kittens.
Today we celebrate our life together. We made our commitment 5 years ago and I couldn't be happier.

It's been quite a break, but it was important.

2011-06-23T10:15:00.000-04:00

First of all, I've missed blogging. I've thought about it, but honestly, it's been nice taking a break. I've had some time to focus on other projects. I hope to blog about everything that has been going on soon. But for now, it'll be getting back into the swing of things. Breaks are always good from time to time. I use blogging to help me reflect, sort out, and compartmentalize my thoughts.

Lately my thoughts have been centered around walking a marathon. I've been trying to train for the walk, but it's been hard to actually find the hours to get walking. I can easily do 2 miles here and there, but to find the time for 10 miles is awkward right now. But I know it'll need to happen soon. 26.2 miles is quite the walk and I don't want to go into the walk unprepared. For some who aren't familiar, the walk is for the Jimmy Fund in Boston. I am walking to raise money for Neuroblastoma Research. There was a local family who was affected by this terrible disease. Their daughter was diagnosed at 22 months old. 16 months later she lost her battle. Her smile, her life, and her story has affected many people. I have committed to walk to hopefully help end this dreadful nightmare for other children who are fighting this disease or other children who may face this disease in the future.

Taking the time to reflect on what's important has led me to this path and I look forward to marathon day. There wasn't a moment where I questioned if I would walk or not. My only question was: How do I sign up? This little girl was only 3 years old when she lost her battle, but her message was clear then and even more brighter today. No matter how tough life can be, there is no excuse but to smile and keep your head held high. Take one step in front of the other and move forward. It's easier to make a difference for our future than to try and turn back time.

Daydreaming

2011-04-26T10:20:00.000-04:00

I find myself daydreaming, more than usual. I think 'what if' and fantasize about what could have been or what could be. Sometimes I feel stagnant within my soul. I'm happy on the outside, but sometimes I find myself drifting to another place. I can't really pinpoint where that feeling comes from. Maybe it's the change in seasons. Warmer weather is creeping into the air and I'm getting that summer itch. Our windows haven't really been open very long and I feel couped up. I'm ready to wear summer skirts and strappy sandals.

I daydream of warm weather, warm grass, and super duper sunny days where the sun sends prickly heat sparks along my sunkissed skin. I can smell the warmer weather from the ground. The dirt is fragrant and I can smell the grass growing. There are still no leaves on the trees, but there are blossoms blooming on other trees. And if I was blind, the birds, crickets, and bull frogs would let me know that the seasons are changing. Spring is in the air and summer cannot get here fast enough.

I've taken some time away from blogging. Not because I don't have anything to say, but because I've taken the time to reflect. To daydream.

I've been reading books a lot more and I'm finding my daydreams have been catapulted into these books. The Stephanie Plum series by Janet Evanovich. If you haven't read them, well, all I can say to that is, why haven't you? They are light, easy, quick reads. I am reading them 1 book a week. It's honestly, very entertaining, in the fictional sort of way.

After reading three Stephanie Plum stories, I'm taking a quick break to read The Help by Kathryn Stockett. The Help is a very different story from the Plum series, but as equally entertaining, and I cannot get enough. I'm finding myself constantly thinking about the book I'm reading, plus many more that I want to sink my eyes into. I cannot read fast enough. It's sort of horrifying at how hungry I am for it.

I like to daydream at the library. I take my lunch break from my other full time job, the one that gives me a paycheck, and I like to get lost in my library. I wander the shelves and scan the titles, the authors, the covers. I look for something to jump out at me. I look for something that will transport me to another place, another time. Fiction or non-fiction, it doesn't matter to me. I usually read memoirs, those are my favorite reads. But lately I find myself looking on any shelf. Eleanor Roosevelt's Biography or Frommer's Disney World with Kids?

I cannot wait to daydream. I'm finding myself looking for time to daydream, and how long can I get away with daydreaming without it disrupting my actual life? I enjoy my real-time life, but this daydreaming business has become just that: business or hobby. Would I be able to write that on my resume? Avid daydreamer.
What do you daydream about? And do you look for different ways to daydream too?

Stuck Behind the School Bus

2011-04-15T15:24:00.000-04:00

Being 'stuck' behind the school bus can be irritating. When you have a place to be at for a particular time, usually it's when you're running late, it's never convenient. But I find myself directing my attention towards those kiddos running to the bus, and climbing the big steps and finding their saved seat by their best friend.

Meanwhile the parents wait along the side of the bus stop with their coffee in hand and their faces not looking quite awake. Some have cars parked at the edge of the road and the engine is running. The parent waves to their child, but I never see if the child is waving back. I'm stuck behind the bus. But I see the parents waving and waving and waving.

I don't remember this being the scenario when I rode the school bus. In fact, I don't remember any parent being at the bus stop waiting for the bus. The kids even had a longer walk to the bus stop, which was usually along a busy main road. And there were no parents there waving to us. I actually don't think kids wanted their parents there. It just wasn't cool, I suppose.

In a few years my kid will be entering first grade. He's only 2 now, but I think about the day he'll have and the morning of his 'first day of school'. Will he be nervous or just plain excited to actually ride the school bus. He loves seeing those school buses riding around town. He loves any bus actually: grey, blue, or yellow, it doesn't matter. It's a bus.

He may prove me wrong and just have a melt down right there on the side of the road, with all the kids staring with their noses pressed flat against the window. I may actually be that parent that skips the school bus option and drive my kid to school. Maybe.

Being stuck behind a school bus isn't fun. But I do have fun imagining our future of those cool early mornings while waiting for the school bus.

Is Bigger Better?

2011-03-30T14:42:00.000-04:00

Depends on what you're talking about. Right? My life has revolved around my boy, so for now, that's what I'm talking about. My boy is getting bigger and he's becoming devilish. Devilish in a good way. He knows how to rope me in. He's good at that. Just when he knows he's creeping under my skin, he looks at me with a warm smile, arms stretched out, and says: I want a hug. This does not excuse your behavior. It's what I tell him.

Since he has decided to potty train himself, life has gotten a bit hectic. For my husband and myself, that is. We weren't exactly prepared to go diaper-less so soon. But it's okay, we're going with it and there's no turning back. Our boy is getting bigger and eventually we would have to teeter down this wobbly path. Our son is leading the way and maybe that part scares me the most.

As much as I want to allow my son as much independence as possible, how well will his decisions really be? I suppose now is a good time as any to start trial and errors. Granted, there are a few decisions that he tries to make and we have to steer him into a different direction. But so far, he hasn't put too much of a battle against us.

I allow him to make decisions whenever possible. We always have 2 choices on what to do. Lunch or Nap? Yes Please or No Thank You? Would you like ME to do it, or YOU? No matter what, he's making a choice. Of course, I'm setting the stage on what I would like him to do. But allowing him to consider his options is important. And hopefully, as he grows older, he'll find similar choices and choose wisely. Because I won't be there for every choice he makes, so I can only hope that he can learn a good choice from a bad one.

My son is getting bigger and there is no denying he'll be grown before I know it. I can either sit and wait until he's all grown up and moved out, or I can play an active role in his life and help guide him along the way. It's the best I can do especially since he thinks he has all the answers already.

A good day for underwear!

2011-03-10T15:26:00.000-05:00

It was his choice to go diaper less today. He saw a picture of himself last summer, wearing underwear in the house. He immediately asked me about the photo. He pointed out that he wasn't wearing a diaper and had underwear on. Why wasn't he wearing underwear??? His tone started to sound like I had been holding out on him. Like this was a revelation for him. So I told him he COULD wear underwear but he had to remember he couldn't go pee pee or poopy in his underwear. He would need to remember to use the potty. He seemed okay with the idea. He was excited.

It was the last thing he told me before going to bed last night. He wanted to show his friends his underwear. Aahh, only because he's 2 does that sound cute.

Sure enough, we walked into his school today and when he saw his friend, he immediately wanted to show off his new piece of clothing. Cookie Monster was on them too! How COOL!

It'll be an interesting day, for sure. I haven't been pushing the whole potty training because he does use it occasionally, but not full time. I would rather have him spend time at home being naked, that way he could remember when to go with minimal accidents. He does well with naked time. But it's still winter in March and I just don't have the heart to let him go naked too long this time of the year.

I know he understands the potty. He's not afraid of it. He just chooses not to use it all the time and prefers diapers. So I go with it. I find the more I force him to do something, he resists the challenge. So if I act like I don't care if he does it or not, he wants to use it. We make a big deal if he does use the potty. Lots of HIGH FIVES and dances, PLUS he gets 1 M&M. Yup, 1. And that's just for going pee pee. He will get 2 for going poopy, but we haven't really experienced much of that lately.

The kid is only 27 months so I don't like to apply too much pressure on him. Heck, I'm thrilled that he just wanted to wear the underwear today! If it turns out that it was a bad day for underwear, well, then, we're back to diapers. I'm not too concerned. In the meantime, I'll enter this moment in the books about when the kid decided he was done with diapers for the day.

Dance Party

2011-02-17T09:01:00.000-05:00

The kid had a dance party at school the other day. I wish I could have been a fly on the wall for that day. His classmates are 9 two year old kids, including himself. Out of the 9 kids, only 1 is a girl.

My kid loves parties. Any kind of party. I think the word party makes him giggle because his face turns goofy when I talk about a party.

On that particular morning I mentioned his school will be having a dance party. I could see his wheels spinning in his mind. A Dance Party! He has been a dancing fool lately, and we'll even take parts of our day and dance around the house. Usually we'll hold hands and bounce in place, but he thinks it's hilarious.

So the morning of the Dance Party at school, he and I are in the car on our way to school and he says to me: I goin to dance party (the AR said like a pirate) and goin to hold friends hands and dance! He could not wait.

Inside the classroom he's looking around, and asking me where the dance party was. He couldn't see anything and was curious about when the music was going to start playing. I can only imagine how long he had to wait until they started dancing.

Later in the day, when I went to pick him up, I heard the little girl, the only girl, in the classroom was just as excited for the dance party. I heard she walked into the room declaring she was going to 'shake her booty'. Her mother proceeded to explain to the teachers that when the little girl is at home, shaking her booty usually ends up with her clothes off too! I'm sure there is a reason behind that but I couldn't help but laugh when I heard that story. Especially since this little girl is the only girl with 8 other boys.

Week 4! The turning point.

2011-02-16T15:55:00.001-05:00

I'm starting to get nervous with this couch25k plan. The runs are now at 3 and 5 minutes each. 5 minutes doesn't sound like much, but gosh, I sometimes feel a train wreck could be thundering through the walls when I'm pounding on the treadmill for 3.5 minutes.

I've learned I really need to take it slow. Really slow. I know my speed will advance over time. I don't want to burn myself out in this process, because honestly, I'm enjoying the run. It's solid, and it keeps my head clear.

It won't be long until I can take a run outside. The weather here in NH is still chilly and I don't need to attempt any heroic measures by slipping and sliding along the icy patches in my neighborhood. I have a treadmill sleeping in my basement, waiting, and anticipating some love.

If you haven't taken a look at the couch25k plan, let me just say this. It won't be long until the plan has me running for 10 then 20 minutes at a time. I'm kinda freaking out about that idea. I feel like someone is twisting my arm making me do this. The truth of the matter is, nobody is making me do anything. I made up my mind to continue this 5k journey and plan to follow through with it too.

Speaking of that, the registration that I had hoped to get in the mail over the weekend is, well, still sitting in my bag. I have got to get that mailed, pronto! April 2nd will be here soon enough, and of course, I'd like my free t-shirt for registering too. Apparently only the first 200 registrants receive a free t-shirt. Donations: $20. Aahh, I guess I can get it done. Tomorrow?

So in the meantime, I've made this commitment to take a jaunt on my treadmill for 30 minutes every other day. That's 3-4 times a week, depending on the week. I'm sort of scared to take 2 days off in a row, in fear I will lose any motivation I have now.

The bottom line is, I'm at week 4, and I do plan on continuing through to week 9. I'm in the halfway point in this journey, and to be honest? I feel great. I really do. I even have noticed pants have started fitting differently and was more ambitious the other day and bought two new pairs of pants. In a smaller size too! Buying clothes for myself rarely happens. I find more joy in shopping for my son or for household items. So I actually had a hard time shopping the other day. The stores I used to shop at were, sort of, too expensive now considering I have a kid to support and a house to maintain. My budget for me is very slim. So the stores I usually browse through were left for me to browse and no buying power. I resorted to a clearance section in a department store and found my two pairs of pants for $15.30 total! Crazy, right? I feel giggly just thinking about it. Nevertheless, it was a treat for reaching my halfway point. I deserved it. At least I think so.

My Balance. My Run.

2011-02-09T15:12:00.000-05:00

I've begun Week 3 on my new commitment. I'm attempting to complete the couch25k program. I'm actually impressing myself because just 3 weeks ago I could barely run for 30 seconds. But as I start my third week, I'm actually running 3 minute intervals. What?!

The voice in my head says, Seriously, what are we doing here? Kind of like what Randy says on A.I. as he's judging the squealing contestant. But my body feels ready for this and I follow my gut and lace up my Asics and get moving.

I'm still taking it slow. I don't want to go to fast and get so winded I need to stop. That's typically how I work out. I'm an all or nothing kind of girl and if I'm in it, I'm in it to win it. But I know my boundaries when it comes to running. I've learned my lessons over time and realize, I really enjoy this and want to do it right.

I met with my Dr. today and of course the question came up: Do you have time to exercise? And for the first time I could confidently say: YES! I was really excited to tell her what I'm doing and she was even more thrilled to hear the news. She was so encouraging that I felt like a kid on Christmas morning. Weird, I know. But that's what running is doing for me, it makes me that excited, I just want to go out and enjoy the day, hear the birds, listen to the wind through the trees.

I have to wait for all that organic noise though. Who am I kidding, it's winter here and we have about 24 inches of snow outside at the moment, not to mention our neighborhood streets are a mess and there is just no way I'm about to twist my ankle for the sake of mother nature. She'd be the one laughing at me anyways.

So I stick to my treadmill. It's okay for now, and doing the job at keeping my pace the same. I can tell I'll need to adjust the incline or increase my pace soon. Soon. I feel myself getting anxious on getting there. I know this is a journey and I need to process each stride in that way.

I throw in a DVD of S&TC and since those shows are a half hour, it works out perfectly for my 30 minute run. Of course I have to constantly be checking the time on the treadmill because I'm still early in the program where the run/walk intervals are close together. So every 2 or 3 minutes I need to switch the speed. Somehow it helps make my time on the treadmill seem productive and not boring. Not to mention I get to watch Carrie and her girlie's in NYC.

I'm already looking into signing up for my first 5k. I've filled out the registration form, now I just need to write the check and send it in. Eight more weeks and hopefully my confidence will be ready.

It's a Snowman kind of day

2011-02-08T10:55:00.000-05:00

We've had plenty of snow to tide us over for a while. 30+ inches and it just keeps coming. If you're into winter sports, well this is the year to really enjoy that activity.

I haven't done much this winter, other than shoveling and throwing some salt in our driveway. My son wants to build a snowman but the snow we've had is so powdery, it's just not the right consistency for snowman making. It's actually nice, I think. But to a 2 year old, all he wants to do is make some snowballs and a snowman.

Taking a walk in the neighborhood

The small storm we got last night has sent us the gift of really wet, heavy snow. Horrible for shoveling, but perfect for snowman making. Oh boy, oh boy... My boy will be so surprised and happy.

Unfortunately he's spending his day at school, so hopefully they get to play in the playground and make some snowballs, or something like that.

My Earthkeepers

2011-02-08T10:47:00.000-05:00

I bought a pair of snazzy boots through a friend's employee store, and I was first excited for the amazing deal. But after having these wowzer boots, all I can say is WOW... what have I been waiting for all these years? Thankfully we are amidst another snowy day here in NH and I'm able to wear this boots for a 2nd day, and boy-oh-boy, my feet feel great!

I've own a pair of snow boots since I was, say, 15 years old. Back when my Mom would say: "Make sure you buy a size bigger because your feet are probably still growing." And so I did, buying a size I thought my feet would someday fill.

Fourteen years later, I still have those boots, and they're still as size too big. So I went on a search for some decent boots that FIT and kept my feet warm and dry.

I heard about these boots and I was immediately on board. My feet could not be happier, especially when I'm scuffing through slushy snow on a day like today.

I hope to get possibly 14 years out of these boots, just like my cheap 'stormer' boots that I bought when I was 15.

Do you have boots that you love just as much? Or are you still wearing old Stormers like I had been wearing. If you are... you need to check into these Earthkeepers! It's well worth the price!

The Friendly Neighbor

2011-02-08T10:36:00.000-05:00

We recently inherited a new kitty. She's a sweet little girl, about a year old. She found our house the week of Christmas, and since then, she hasn't left. I don't mind so much, and neither does my husband or kid.

We waited to see if a nearby neighbor was missing a kitty. She was just the cutest thing, she must have a warm and loving home somewhere, right?

Weeks have passed and our cute little kitty has a new name. We've named her Piper and it suites her just fine. However she's developed another little thing... she's in heat. Great.

I knew this would be happening, as I had taken her to the vet a few days after she came to us. Since we already have one cat at home, I needed to make sure things were going to be considerably healthy in our home. Piper ended up being a very healthy cat, with some fleas, and hadn't been spayed. So I knew this moment would come soon. However, I hadn't really know what it was going to be like for us.

She howls and groans and moans. It was kind of funny at first. But we're into this a full week now and it's not so funny. We're not sleeping much and have had to lock her in the storage room in our basement. She's just SO loud. If we leave her to roam in the house at night, she prefers to sit at the top of the stairs, maybe because it has the vaulted ceiling there, and howls, very very loud. Very. So we've taken some advanced measures and have even put her outside, just so we can have some peace.

Since she's an outdoor cat to begin with, she doesn't mind the outdoors. So it's not a problem convincing her to go out. But with her in heat, we're reluctant about how long she spends her time outside in fear she'll meet a friendly boy kitty.

Over the past few days she's met someone. I've asked around and I believe he is neutered, but I'm just not so sure about that. Piper still comes home and howls at night, so I'm hoping she's not expecting a litter. In the meantime, she has this friend that walks her home and likes to peek into our home.

He's sort of a burly cat, with yellow eyes. I hear he's a sweet boy... but I'm just not so sure. I don't mind that she has a playmate, if that's what he is for her. But I get weary about their activity.

Dinosaurumpus! by Tony Mitton

2011-01-31T16:09:00.001-05:00

It's a new favorite book in our house. Dinosaurumpus! It's quite fun to read too. My 2 year old boy asks for me to read this daily. Sometimes we read it multiple times a day, and I don't mind. It's that fun.

The words are colorful and it's hard not to bounce in your seat while you read the story. And if your kid isn't into Dinosaurs, don't worry, the story isn't too archaic. Although you do learn about the names of the dinosaurs, and you do learn what it would be like if you saw these dinosaurs dancing. It's quite silly if you ask me.

In the words of my son: DINOSAUR-RUMPUS!!!

The Birds

2011-01-31T16:02:00.000-05:00

The Birds sit outside their window and the class of children become giddy. It's just a hole in the brick wall, really, how many birds can fit in there? It's that small, but it's enough to thrill the children and have big discussions about these birds that live outside their window.

Where could have the birds gone?

They're too high and we can't reach them.

I can't reach them! As one boy hangs onto the window's ledge.

Perhaps they went to find some food? I ask one of the boys. His eyes widen and I can see he's trying to imagine The Birds out gathering their breakfast. They'll be back I say. That seems to calm his fears of not seeing The Birds again.

Just a thought.

2011-01-31T15:56:00.000-05:00

Just a thought about the shoes I bought.
These shoes are sneakers and they're made to go far.
How far will they go?
What will they show me?
Who would've thought these sneakers would give me strength.
They guide me and allow me to push past my fears.
Those fears are gone and all that's left inside
Are notes of glitter in my eyes
As I peer down the road that will lead me
To the pace I set for myself and I circle around
Inside my head these thoughts and visions come to no end.
It's just a thought about the shoes I bought.

To Snow... Or Not To Snow...?

2011-01-31T15:47:00.000-05:00

Well... It looks like it's going To Snow. Again. Not just a dusting or a few inches. The prediction is 15-20 inches. Yup. This is how our week is looking here in NH. As much as I don't mind the snow, and don't mind driving in the snow... I think we've had our fair share of the snow.

Ice fishing, snow shoeing, and sledding, are just the few winter activities that families are gearing up for or have been doing for the past few weeks. Unfortunately we haven't had much winter fun lately. We do spend our time outside, my son loves to take walks in our neighborhood while pulling his sled. He hasn't really learned how to enjoy riding in the sled. I'm okay with that since most times he's asking to pull me along. But he does enjoy pushing a shovel around in the yard and watch us clean up the driveway.

Most of our time is spent doing indoor activities. Since my husband and I work full time during the week, we tend to look for low key activities with our kid. He doesn't mind it that much either. He particularly loves any sort of project.

Painting is one of his favorites and loves to smear all the colors into a big blob in the middle of the paper. Coloring with markers is his second favorite and that can usually hold his attention for quite a while. We've tried watching some movies with him, of course they're age appropriate since he's 2. But it seems any type of Pixar flick seems to hold his attention. He recently enjoyed Meet the Robinson's. I try not to use the tv as a babysitter with him, so we do try to do other things while the tv is on.

He's getting really good with doing puzzles, the real kind and not the board pieces with knobs. Those have started being too easy for him. We have a few 24 piece puzzles that incorporate different Disney themes. Of course they're from many popular movies: Toy Story 3, Mickey's Clubhouse, and Cars. He loves them so much and they're really easy to do, considering the box doesn't show you what the puzzle should look like.

One of his favorite puzzles is of animals, 2 pieces each, one is heads the other is tails. The pieces are very large and easy for him to manipulate. He learned how to 'do a puzzle' with this particular puzzle.

Other than that, we may attempt to back or cook something fun. But again, we haven't done much of that over the course of the winter, particularly because we don't spend much time at the grocery store. But I'd love to rummage through the cupboards to see what could make a fun treat. We have used my ice cream maker and have made eggnog chocolate chip ice cream, which was fantastic, if you like egg nog. We then made regular chocolate chip ice cream. My son doesn't seem to love ice cream as much as I do, but that's okay... I secretly want more for myself anyways. He's more of a Popsicle boy.

How have other families enjoyed their winter days? Or are you enjoying summer instead? If so... I'm jealous!

Pound the pavement

2011-01-27T12:47:00.000-05:00

In an attempt to balance my mind and my soul, I've decided to dust off my running sneakers and hit the roads. Although, the roads are completely covered in ice, salt, sand, and snow. Luckily I do have a treadmill collecting dust in my basement. I've missed being able to pound the pavement, but over the past four years, a lot has been going on.

Four years ago I accomplished my first and only 5k road race. It was quite exhilarating, and I haven't really experienced anything like it since.

So what's been going on in four years? I got married, bought a house, had a kid, and have been trying to find my new balance in life. I'm not one to exercise daily, weekly, or at all. I go with the flow. It's not the best course of action for my health and wellness. My doctor is clearly aware of how immobile I am. My two year old keeps me quite busy for the moment, and that seems to have been doing fine for me lately. But now, I need something more.

I need something for my sanity. Something that can help me focus on one thing and one thing only. I have tried Yoga, but that doesn't really get me focused like others say it does for them. My mind wanders too much. So when I run, excuse me... when I jog, it's different. I am forced to focus on my breathing. I know that for every two strides, I am exhaling and inhaling. My feet hit the pavement and I'm in a trance. One two, breath in, one two, breath out. Honestly, if I don't focus on my breathing, I have a bad habit of holding my breath, or losing track of my breathing. So badly that I get horrible, painful stitches in my sides to the point where I have problems catching my breath. I don't want to over exert myself, so this is why I start my runs with complete concentration on my breathing. After some time, I don't even notice it and it becomes second nature to me. But I know what I need to do. It's just a matter of doing it.

I recently learned about a program for people like me. It's called: couch 2 5k. It's a 9 week program and you work on it 3 days a week for 30 minutes. I think I can do that. So I looked at the detailed schedule and it actually seems doable, and since I have a treadmill it's even more inviting that there is a treadmill routine. Perfect! So I've printed the schedule and I'm excited to start ASAP.

Eventually I'd like to tackle a 5k again. I'm interested in doing a couple, but my goal is to do at least one. So for now, I have 9 weeks of prep work to do. I'll let you know how it goes.

What about you? Are you an avid runner or walker? Have you registered for a race before? Or is the idea too overwhelming?

I want my Mommy...

2011-01-26T15:07:00.000-05:00

I usually hear this around the time my son wakes up from a nap or very early in the mornings. Either I or my husband will stumble upstairs to check on him. Usually he needs help with his blanket and he's back to sleep. But every time I hear I want my Mommy, my heart aches. Literally. Those four words make my chest ache.

My son is going through a Mommy phase. My husband and I took a weekend vacation a couple of weeks ago and ever since we've been home I keep hearing those four simple words. It's a simple request. The kid just wants his Mommy. Just my presence in the room is reassuring for him. He's only 26 months old and as often as he tells me to leave him alone, he needs me just the same.

I'm sure it's healthy for him to go through this phase. But how do you move through this fear that's embedded in his brain? I take every chance I have to spend quality time with him. I have even notice he wants to snuggle with me more, or find me down the hall in another room. The first few days from being back from our vacation, he wouldn't let me out of his sight, and even sat on a stool in the bathroom while I took a shower. He didn't mind. He was with his Mommy. And he waited very patiently while I finished showering too. Surprisingly, I'm learning the amount of patience he has for me. However, there are a few boundaries considering he goes to daycare everyday and every morning when I say 'See you soon!' he's standing there sobbing.

So how do I move forward? Simple. Just live today like everyday, and hope that tomorrow will get easier. But those four simple words would be forever etched in my heart.

"Your OWN soap!"

2011-01-19T16:11:00.000-05:00

"WOW, you have your OWN soap now!"

He was sooo excited. He's been asking for his own soap for a while. Since Mommy and Daddy each have their own bar of soap, my son decided he would like to ask for his own bar of soap. So how could I tell him No?

We buy our soap from a local farmer. I've posted other bars of soap that I've used from their farm, and I'm kind of addicted to their style.

So I told my son he could go to the goat farm and pick out his own bar of soap. How cool is that?! He was quite the excited 2 year old boy!

Unfortunately I was not able to take him to the goat farm, however, I arranged for his Nana to take him one afternoon recently. It was quite cold and windy, but they saw the goats. My son was brought inside the farmers store and was able to pick out his very own bar of soap. WOW! You have no idea how special that made him feel.

A no nonsense bar with no fragrance or color for the most delicate skin. Lots of avocado oil added to make it the most gentle soap you can use.

Ingredients: our own goat milk, olive oil, palm oil, palm kernel oil, coconut oil, avocado oil, soybean oil, sodium hydroxide.

He uses his soap every night during tubby time. It's actually become his new toy and has very little interest in the large crate of toys he already owns. He enjoys tossing the soap to make big splashes, hiding it under his legs and says: Where'd it go? Or he starts scrubbing his body getting it squeaky clean.

In any case, it was a simple treasure for him and also has ingredients that are a lot safer than many you'd find in your local stores. Not to mention we are supporting our local neighbors! I know he'll be looking forward to a future visit to the goat farm.

Small Moments

2011-01-14T16:28:00.000-05:00

Enjoying small moments doesn't mean you have to capture everything on camera. Although, it would be nice to maybe strap a camera to my head and if I want to capture a moment, I could blink really hard. Or something like that.

I feel like I've been trying to capture small moments lately. I got a new phone, you see. So I've been experimenting and playing around with the gadgets, widgets, and apps. I feel there are way too many options for what I need. It wasn't too long ago when I decided I need to live in the moment, not create more moments. Apps can have that crazy affect.

But over the course of the past week, I've been living in the moment. Capturing moments. No matter how big or small. So with my small, new phone and camera, here are the little moments I've captured.

I got to experience the Magic Kingdom this past Sunday night...

I had some wine in Paris (Epcot) on Sunday

I had a 'snow day' with my 2 year old son...

And we got to get some 'safe' fun done around the house...

So as my days move forward, I do try to live in front of the camera, but with a new phone and camera readily available, I will also be capturing those fun, small moments that seem to creep up unexpectedly.

A New Year

2011-01-06T13:02:00.000-05:00

It's been a year since I started this blog. I'm still not sure if I have much direction with my blogging. But it is what it is, and it's me. Sometimes I'm all over the place, and this blog will justify that. So a new year begins and I've taken a small leave of absence from the blogging world. I haven't read any blogs, posted any comments, or updated in a while. I'm okay with that. I'm enjoying our holidays, and the new year. But that doesn't mean I haven't thought about those other blogger's, those who blog every day. I have thought about them, almost daily and look forward to catching up on what they've been up to.

But for now, I'm living in the moment. I suppose that's my New Year's resolution. Although I don't believe in resolutions, but if I were to have something on my list, that would be it. Living in the moment is important to me. Sometimes it means putting the camera down and enjoying a morning with my 2 year old son. Sometimes it means leaving the computer off and shutting my phone off. Even if it's for a day, it's important to me to reconnect with myself.

I don't connect with my self very often because I'm finding I'm too busy, being me. Scattered, forgetful, yet constant and reliable. My New Year is a time to reflect on what matters most. We spend so many days at the end of the year planning to do this, and to do that, it's hard to see what is happening now.

I had a week off from my job, and I took it one day at a time. Sure I had plans, but they were light plans and anything could have changed if it needed to. But the life of work was put on hold. I needed that moment to pause and enjoy the minutes I had to rest, laugh, eat, and play.

It won't be long until my days are in full swing with my old routines. But for now, I feel like I'm still on vacation. I'm definitely not ready to jump in head first with the New Year, because I'm committed to remembering what matters most to me. Taking one day at a time will help me through that. So for now, I purposely waited on writing my first post of the New Year until now. I'm working on nurturing my soul and if you need me, that's where you can find me. Now off to get another cup of tea! =)

What were your New Years resolutions? Do you make any?

Holiday Shopping

2010-12-15T10:50:00.000-05:00

I really do like shopping during the holidays. But shopping with crazy shoppers? No thanks.

This year I did most of my holiday shopping online. Particularly through Amazon. I tried to buy locally, when possible, and when the price fit my budget. But unfortunately most of the items that I purchased online were a lot cheaper, and I was able to get free shipping. How can you pass up free shipping?

With a lot of online shopping, comes a lot of packaging. I'm trying to re purpose a lot of the boxes we are getting. Thankfully, some shipments are coming in bags, so I'm not left with huge, over sized boxes.

There have been a few days where my family would bundle up and trek out to the local stores. It was nice to be out for the short period, enjoy the festive decorations and also let the kid enjoy shopping too. He does enjoy it, believe it or not. Although, I'm beginning to wonder if he enjoys the small treat he gets early in the day: Munchkins =)

Running outside Stonewall Kitchen

So we're officially finished our shopping. Crazy, I know. We have a few more presents to wrap, then we can sit back and enjoy the holidays.

Have you gotten into the Christmas spirit yet? Or are you dragging your feet with the holidays?

Introducing Santa

2010-12-14T11:23:00.000-05:00

My son is just shy of turning 25 months old. He really doesn't remember what Christmas was like last year. We didn't go crazy over Christmas last year either. It was a simple day for us and he had a blast with the wrapping paper and boxes. This year, it's a little different.

He has learned what presents are and has quickly learned Santa likes to give presents too. But as we talk more about Santa and his reindeer, my son grows a little skeptical about who Santa really is. I tell him that Santa will come into the house one night, while we're all sleeping, and he'll leave presents for us. Would you like that? No, he replies. He would love to receive presents from Santa, but why at night while we're asleep? I can see it in his face that there is something weird about a strange man entering our house in the middle of the night. Why would Mommy & Daddy allow that to happen? He's not asking this, but I can see these types of questions swirling that 2 year old brain of his.

I'm trying to keep the story simple, he's only 2 years old. But I can see I'm going to have some tough questions ahead of me.

We attempted visiting Santa in the mall, and my son enjoyed saying HI and giving Santa a high-five. But that was it. The picture had to be taken as a family photo, and still, my son was a little weary of the man next to him. We left the mall with a small present from Santa: a coloring book and crayons. That was enough to make my sons day, and it turned out being the conversation he had with us. All day long.

This year, Santa is going to bring lots of gifts for my son, and I'm concerned Santa may have done too much. But I suppose there is a different magic in the air when you're with a 2 year old, and everything seems new again.

Christmas lights seem brighter, the Christmas tree smells more pine-y, and snow globes look more sparkly. Maybe Santa has the right idea and spoiling a 2 year old is okay, especially when the idea of Santa seems so special and magical. How can Santa not overdo the presents for a 2 year old!

How have you introduced Santa to your kid(s)? What sort of questions did they have for you?

French Vanilla Soap - by Jenness Farm

2010-12-13T11:05:00.000-05:00

I'm in the middle of using the French Vanilla soap made by Jenness Farm. I like this soap, a lot. However, I don't think this soap is suited for the dryer winter months. Although, I do not feel the need for lotion, which I like! But my arms could use the extra moisturizer.

The bar lathers very quickly and I'm able to suds up quickly. While rinsing, I am left feeling squeeky clean, yet not feel like my skin is puckering dry. The fragrance is not as strong as I had imagined. In fact, I think I've grown immune to the scent and barely smell it now. So it's nice not to feel overwhelmed with vanilla since I'm not particularly a fan of vanilla.

On a scale of 1 to 5 Bubbles, I'd rate French Vanilla a 4.5.... blub blub blub blub =)

Aubrey Organics - Shampoo & Conditioner

2010-12-13T10:56:00.000-05:00

I recently purchased organic shampoo and conditioner by Aubrey Organics. I have been using Aubrey's moisturizer and serum for my face, and have not been disappointed. The winter months are approaching and I've noticed I need to change shampoos. So I decided to splurge and pick up the GPB Shampoo and Conditioner.

As with any new product, I immediately feel the benefits on my hair. Softer, lighter, smoother. I'm looking forward to seeing the long term benefits. As with most organic shampoos, there isn't much 'suds' when washing my hair. Realistically I don't need to use a lot of shampoo, but I'm finding that because I have a lot of hair, I need to use more shampoo just to cover my head. However, I'm left with the incredible aloe scent that makes up this Glycogen Protein Balancing Shampoo & Conditioner. It reminds me of the warm summer days that are 6 months away.

Sleeping-less

2010-12-09T16:07:00.001-05:00

I don't consider myself a light sleeper, however, if I get woken up I have a hard time falling back to sleep.

My son has been waking up lately, and usually my husband toggles upstairs to unwind the blanket from the kids body and reposition it down. Within minutes the two of them are back into the respective beds and I'm left there wide awake.

Did you know we are geese in our home? Or at least just one goose? That's what I listened to while laying awake at least 3 hours last night. I was awake from 1:30-4am. At least the last time I looked at the clock it was 4am.

I refuse to get out of bed and I try to keep my breathing still. Slow deep breaths help my mind, and heart, relax. Sometimes it helps me drift back to sleep. But other times, that silly goose wakes me again! Do I dare tell my husband he snores like a goose? I think about waking him, and instead I try to move the covers away from him. Just enough to stir him into the other direction.

Nothing seems to be working. So I quickly float up to our spare room and hunker down into the cool sheets of the empty bed. Immediately I feel better, but I know it will be a while before I actually fall asleep.

I do fall asleep but I don't remember how long it took me. I realize my husband will be wondering why my alarm is going off, and I'm not there. Shortly after I have this thought, I hear footsteps down stairs. He's looking for me. I know my alarm has gone off and it'll be a matter of minutes until he realizes I've relocated myself.

Of course he thinks I'm mad at him for something he must have done. I'm too tired to give explanations so I just say that I needed to sleep. He's now really confused and leaves me to take a shower.

Our son hears his Daddy in the bathroom while showering and he sits in his crib in the room next to me. Daddy... Daddy... Daddy... He's saying it softly in a sleepy voice. He becomes quieter and eventually he stops. Figuring he fell back to sleep, I make my way back downstairs to shower and prepare for our day. I need to somehow find the energy to move forward, when all I want to do is sleep another five minutes.

Maybe I can catch up on some sleep later tonight. Maybe I can go to bed early? Unless the kid wakes us up again because he's gotten himself twisted in his blanket... Only one could hope he'll figure it out on his own.

Until then, I collect our lunch, dress my boy in his snow boots, coat, hat, and mittens, and shuffle out the front door. The cool, 10 degree, December air immediately wakes me up. Suddenly I have an extra bounce in my step. I hold my sons mittened hand and we walk down the steps together. He points to the birds and talks about the sky. His energy somehow will make me get through my day.

The Star

2010-12-06T11:13:00.000-05:00

We picked our Christmas tree this year and it wasn't from a field where we had to cut it down ourselves. I would have preferred that. Instead, I made the compromise with my husband and agreed to buy a tree pre-cut. Except we didn't go to the local store to buy one, we ventured to our local greenhouse and picked one there.

I know they were more expensive than what we would have paid if we were to cut our own, but I felt I was helping support our local community. And they even gave us a 4.5 inch poinsettia plant. All-right! (raises hand with a whoop)

We loaded the tree into the car and the three of us buckled up and headed home. We were eager to start decorating, or trimming. I grew up decorating, while others know it as trimming. Either way, the job gets done and you can feel the festivities creep into your home.

We let our 2 year old son help decorate the tree by being part of the family train. My husband would unwrap the ornaments, hand them to our son, then he'd walk them over to me. He was careful to hold onto the hook or string. And he was very careful. Although he was also careful enough to examine each piece. He grew tired of the decorating because his real excitement was for The Star. He didn't understand that we waited to put The Star on top of the tree at the end. He wanted to do it first. But we wanted him to know that it was just as special as he had wanted it to be and we'd let him put The Star on at the very end.

The Star eventually made it to the top of our tree. It made his heart sing. Afterwards, the three of us took a step back to admire our Christmas tree. And then we made a family hug together. My son was living in the moment and kept saying Again... Again... So there we were, giving a group hug repeatedly in our living room in front of our Christmas tree. I'm sure if there were any neighbors walking their dog outside, they would have wondered what the heck we were doing. But it was a moment that will last in my mind about our Christmas this year, and it's a reminder about what's important to me.

While The Star makes my sons eyes twinkle, I will remember the warmth from the simplicity while adding a decoration that I have taken for granted. The holidays can be just another day to some, but not in the eyes of a child. There is just too much magic in the air, you cannot ignore its purity.

Traditions

2010-12-01T12:32:00.000-05:00

As the holidays are quickly approaching, I'm finding myself trying to slow down the holiday buzz. The holidays have crept through the radio with songs, into the tv commercials, onto drive-thru coffee cups, and of course inside the stores.

Today is the first of December and I am not ready to take off my turkey themed table cloth. Yet, I wish I had bought my Christmas tree yesterday. I'm eager to share the holiday cheer with my son but I don't want to overload him with the experience either. We'll get there, but I'm dragging my feet on decorating the house.

I'm meddling with a few ideas on how to keep traditions alive and would also like to start new traditions. I'm feeling overwhelmed with the idea of traditions and, really, wish I could do it all. Maybe that's why I'm hesitant about diving in head first.

I feel like there's not a lot of time for the holidays. As fast as they come, they're gone too quickly. We need to make time to enjoy a hot cup of coco and soak in the holiday cheer. There's always something to be greatful for and it would make for a great advent calendar to pick one word that describes what we're greatful for, today.

Today is December first, and after visiting my doctor for a physical, I am greatful for my health.

I hear that.

2010-12-01T12:19:00.000-05:00

I hear that he says to me. We are outside and I point out to him that it is a airplane and I hear it too. He says Airplane and looks up in the sky to find it. Eventually he points and shows me where it is.

I hear that he says to me. We are standing in line at a small convenience store. We hear ding dong, ding dong. He doesn't know what's making that noise. I point to the door and explain the door makes that noise every time the door is opened. He's fascinated with this explanation and watches each time another person opens the door.

I hear that he says to me. We are in the parking lot walking into the grocery store. I tell him that sound is a car's horn honking because someone is locking their doors. Honk Honk. He gazes around the parking lot looking for the particular car making the noise.

I hear that he says to me. We are inside our house, sitting in the kitchen eating a snack. I hear it too and tell him that sound is the heat rattling through the vents and the furnace downstairs. This seems a little complicated for him but he looks like he's pondering the explanation and doesn't ask anthing again.

Just like Mommy

2010-11-22T09:52:00.001-05:00

We sit on the floor together and have a snack. I'm sitting on my knees and he's laying on his belly. He and I are eating crackers with cream cheese & chives. I tell him they are a new snack and pleased to see he enjoys them. He's excited to share a snack with his Mommy while playing on the floor. He decides to sit up and fold his legs under his bottom, just like Mommy. He sits there and munches on a cracker and smiles at me. Under his cracker filled lips he mumbles like Mommy. He melts my heart and I've fallen in love all over again.

We play on the floor with a ball and toss back and forth to each other. He sits there and inspects my position on the floor, I'm sitting Indian style, and he imitates me. Just like Mommy he says. I'm teaching him how to hold out his hands and keep them together. We sit rather close because he's not a good catcher. I toss the ball into his arms and he squeals with excitement for the fact that he did it by himself. We play like this for what seems all afternoon, but really it's more like fifteen minutes.

He finds me in the kitchen while I'm putting food away from dinner. He doesn't mind playing in the other room alone, he just prefers company with Mommy or Daddy. He looks up at me while the kitchen light glares in his face. He smiles a sleepy smirk and hums Mummmmy. I answer him back and he gently places his head on my leg. Awwwwww we say together.

I know these moments are rare and I know they won't always be there. But for now, they're my little treasures and I'm thankful to have them.

Two

2010-11-18T10:54:00.000-05:00

My silly putty is two today.

Where has the time gone? He's grown so much in just two years, I cannot imagine what this next year holds for us, but I'm excited for it.

Two years ago at 5:24pm my baby was born.

A cesarean birth was decided around 5:00, due to the fact my unborn son's heart rate was not normal, and I had to lay in a specific direction for him to have a normal heart rate. I had been in labor for about 8 hours and I could not dilate further than 8cm. I was also nauseous and exhausted and had opted for the epidural earlier in the day, but by 2pm it had worn off. The contractions were tolerable, however my nausea was not. I'd go through hot and cold spells and it was as if I had a fever, but the nurses would continue to check my temperature and I was consistently normal.

Once the decision was made around 5:00, I was prepped for surgery and I was whisked into the operating room. I remember trying to haul myself onto the operating table "Can you move yourself over?" they asked me.

Seriously? I feel like a whale! I was just given a dose of meds for surgery and I was numb to my neck. There was no way I'd be moving anything myself.

Twenty-four minutes later, my silly putty was born. It wasn't the dramatic scene you'd imagine a labor being because for me, I was more in shock for the quick turn in events.

My husband left with our new baby and watched him get cleaned and weighed. 7lbs 16oz is what the nurse calculated. Isn't that 8lbs then? he asked the nurse. Oh yeah.

My hospital experience wasn't as bad as I had thought, although we do have some not-so-fond memories too. Now two years later, I'm contemplating what my second birthing experience will be like. Most likely I'll be having another cesarean but I'm wondering if I should change to a hospital closer to home.

Despite the sort of day I had while in labor with my son, he turned out to be extremely healthy and happy. I couldn't have asked for a happier baby for my first child.

However, that happiness is fading in his personality as he sinks into his two-dom world. The lack of communication leads to frustrations and moans and whines and tears. We try hard to use our words and describe how we're feeling, but some days are harder than others. And today was one of those days.

I'm sure we'll have many more teary days ahead, and I'm stocking up on my patience pills. But for now I'll take each day as it comes and hope for more smiles in our future.

Just a salad...but it's heavenly!

2010-11-16T11:51:00.000-05:00

I made a salad over the weekend, and I wish I had taken a picture of it. It was a salad I tried recreating from a restaurant I went to recently, but I didn't have all the ingredients. So I tried to recreate the earthiness of it.

Here's what I used:
Spring greens
Grape tomatoes
Shaved carrots
Cucumbers
Craisins
Pumpkin Seeds
Goat Cheese
Ken's Olive Oil & Vinaigrette dressing

I made enough salad for about 30 guests, and I even have plenty of leftovers so I can enjoy more yummy salad the rest of this week. I didn't make the greens as the star ingredient either. Rather, every component was equally used, no favoritism's here! If I had some extra time I would have enjoy adding hard boiled egg to the mix, but the salad still felt hearty as a side dish.

I've thought about making this mix again and wrapping it in a tortilla. Maybe adding some more protein to make it more filling. What do you think?

Dip Dip

2010-11-16T09:51:00.000-05:00

I never realized how much food we eat that requires dip dip. I've experimented on a few different meals to see which type of dip my son prefers. He doesn't mind ketchup, and will even use salsa. He won't touch sweet and sour sauce, and he's not the biggest fan of syrup. He's accepted pumpkin butter, but he loves honey.

Dip dip is exactly what it sounds like, and we've even nicknamed one of our meals: Dip Dip. All it is, is cheese quesadilla's that we use either marinara sauce or salsa. I prefer salsa, my husband likes marinara. For a while my son would use the salsa, I think because he liked saying the word: salsa. It is quite fun to say, especially when you're learning new words every day. =)

Last night we had our traditional 'dip dip' meal and he asked for honey in a ball. A ball?? I asked him again. Yup, he's saying ball, but after a few attempts I realized he meant to say bowl. Well that sounds a lot more appealing than honey on a ball!

Desert, when we have it, is typically cookies. I like to buy the mini cookies that are in individual snack size bags. And of course, dip dip needs to go with our cookies. So we give our little man a shot glass that is half full with his milk. Sometimes he likes to dip his cookies in the milk, and sometimes he just shoves them into his mouth. But the best part is being able to drink the cookie flavored milk afterwards. Smack the lips and say AHHHH.

My son goes through spurts of appetite. Most days he just picks, and maybe once or twice a week he has a really good appetite. So I try my hardest not to stress over how much he eats, and try to make eating fun... with dip dip! He's working hard at telling me what he wants to eat, or how he wants to eat his food.

We're still experiencing a battle ground over most of this 'table talk', so I'm curious to know how others are enjoying their meals? Do you have a favorite dip too?

Is it worth it??

2010-11-12T14:33:00.001-05:00

Since becoming a Mom, a lot has changed in my life. A lot of good things seem to have blossomed in my life. Since becoming a Mom, I have reflected on who I am, and how I want my son to know his mother. I want to be a role model for him, and I would like him to have his first memories of me be solid memories about things we did together, or how he remembers my personality.

My first memory in my life is when I turned 2 years old. I remember playing in my bedroom and my father walking down the hallway to tell me there was a surprise for me in the kitchen. I remember toddling down the hallway (it was a split entry house) and into the kitchen, I climbed up into my metal high chair. There was no tray and I could sit right up against the table. On the table sat a small plate with a chocolate cupcake with chocolate frosting, and two candles. My mother and father sang Happy Birthday to me and I blew out the candles. I asked them where their cupcake was, but my mother said they weren't having any. My mother turned and went back to doing the dishes and my father went back into the living room to watch tv. I am an only child so there I sat and became very upset with my parents. I wanted to share my cupcake with them. It was my birthday after all, right? But my special day didn't seem so special at that moment.

That memory is so vivid, it's like it happened last weekend. This happened over 30 years ago and today, my son is a week from turning 2. I am struggling with how to portrait his future memory of his special day. My husband and I have been talking Birthday Party talk all week long and my son is truly excited. He cannot wait, and realistically, he has no idea what's in store for him. The one thing that worries me is that part of this party will be a memory he'll keep forever, so I'm so stuck on the fact that I need to make sure I make it a good memory!

My son has made me his rock, he has learned he can give me a hug anytime he pleases, yet he will clearly tell me No if he doesn't agree with me. I like that about him and I hope he continues to show his independence.

Unknown to me, my son has become my rock. My son has added an extra hop in my step and extra pep in my personality. He's made me feel stronger about my opinions and more vocal about my decisions. My son has taught me to make quicker decisions and I've learned how to stop being too passive. After all, I have a kid who needs someone to have his back, keep him healthy, and support his every move. He's not yet two, so he really needs me just about 98% of the time. And I don't mind that. I enjoy being his rock, he's my soul.

So when it's time to speak my mind, I do it. I want to be the mother who is willing to stand up for her kid, any time. My son deserves that. He's turning 2 very soon and I feel I need to make a good impression on my son. Call me crazy, but I am haunted by my own 2 year old memory. So yes, he's worth it, even if I have to fight for it.

What are your earliest memories? And do they haunt you too? Have you made irrational decisions in order to become a better role model for your kids?

Eyes

2010-11-10T09:10:00.000-05:00

I recently received a new pair of glasses. I've owned glasses for a few years now, but I rarely wore them. I wasn't blind, and I felt I could make due by squinting. It really wasn't an issue. Until I couldn't squint hard enough, my vision remained blurry.

I find that I don't need my glasses while sitting at my computer while working. Although I do feel my eyes are feeling strained, I can still see clearly, so I assume that strained feeling is associated with sitting infront of the computer screen for 9 hours a day. It can create quite the headache.

I like the glasses, although this picture is kind of goofy. I felt awkward taking a picture of myself while sitting at my desk. I find myself putting them on throughout the day because I do wonder if I should be wearing them more often than I am. At least to try and eliminate my headaches.

I find a huge difference while driving lately. I cannot believe I was driving around without them. Even though I knew where I was going, I really wasn't seeing where I was going. Scary.

He makes me laugh

2010-11-09T09:23:00.000-05:00

We're in his bedroom getting ready for bed. He's had a bath and I'm working on getting his pj's on his chilly little body. I notice his has a small scab on the back of his calf. I ask him if he has a boo-boo. He says yah.

How did you get it?

Big Bear over there.

You got a boo-boo from Big Bear?

No. The bed.

You were on the bed?

Bumped my head. Taps head.

You were jumping on the bed and you hit your head?

Momma called doctor and doctor said (points finger) NO more monkeys jumping on bed!

=)

How did my conversation about a boo-boo lead into that song? He was so proud of himself and when I picked him up to finish zipping his pj's he laughs and says: Silly Goose!

Yes, you are a silly goose... You are my silly putty.

Click

2010-11-08T15:40:00.000-05:00

We spent the morning at the photographers studio. The studio is private, it's actually in a condo specifically rented for photography. She specializes in weddings and newborn photos. But she takes all sorts of pictures. I really enjoy her work and I like her patience with my son.

This was our 2nd visit. The first one, six months ago, was not so pleasant. My son didn't want to be there. He didn't care for the big fancy shmancy camera, or the photographer. As nice as she was, she spent the whole hour with us trying to convince my son that he would enjoy getting his picture taken. But that particular day, not so much.

Today was a different story. I spent most of our weekend discussing the big fancy shmancy camera. I talked about the silly faces we'd make. I mentioned the big fancy shmancy camera would also 'click', just like Dora's did.

We watch Dora, I'm sure like most kids, my son is obsessed with this chick. I don't know what it is about Dora that he loves, or maybe he just loves Boots. Two reasons, 1-he's a monkey, and 2-he wears boots! Well, there is a particular episode where Dora travels through the forest looking for animals. When she spots an animal everyone says CLICK. She snaps the picture and enters her photos in a contest.

Since my son loves cameras and picture taking (only by me), I thought this would be a fun episode to watch since we'd be visiting the studio today with the big fancy shmancy camera. And it would "click". Just like Dora's does... is what he'd say. He seemed a little weary, but I was convinced he was ready for a 2nd visit in the studio. I wanted his 2 year old pictures done, so I was committed to making this work. He ended up surprising me.

He's a little shy about people knowing his name, especially when he doesn't know the person at all. So it took a few minutes to warm up to the studio. But a few minutes is all he needed. He was running around, and cooperating with the photographer faster than I had imagined. He sang his ABC's, played peekaboo, jumped on the couch, stood on a chair, roared like a dinosaur, and plopped into the bean bag... and all doing it on queue! I was stunned. He really did enjoy the sound of the "click".

Comfort Food

2010-11-05T10:37:00.001-04:00

I'm not the typical wife. I don't necessarily cook, clean, sew, or do laundry regularly. I am not the sort of person who is regimented on a schedule. I loathe routines, for myself that is. I do my best, try to pick up as I go, and make sure everyone is clean, loved, and happy. I'm a procrastinator at it's finest. I don't think I've every talked about my procrastination issues. Maybe someday I'll post something about that. I'll try not to procrastinate. =)

I came across a recipe the other day and it was one that I fell in love with. As soon as I tasted it, I knew I would be making it again. I don't find too many recipes where I feel this way, so I felt compelled to share it in this post. Here goes...

Butternut Squash Risotto. I've never attempted risotto before, never mind how I even learned how to handle a butternut squash. I opted for fresh because they were on sale at 79 cents a pound. So I bought one that was just under two pounds. I will copy the recipe I followed here, but please note I did make some alterations, however the alterations were strictly because I just didn't have enough ingredients.

Ingredients:

7 Tbs. unsalted butter
2 Tbs. minced fresh sage
6 cups vegetable or chicken stock (Used 4 cups, I didn't have enough)
2 cups butternut squash puree
2 Tbs. olive oil
2/3 cup caramelized onions (Used 1 large onion)
2 cups Arborio rice
1 tsp. minced fresh rosemary
1/2 cup dry white wine
1/2 cup grated Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese (Used a little less as I ran out)
Salt and freshly ground pepper, to taste

Directions:

In a small saucepan over medium heat, melt 4 Tbs. of the butter. Add 1 Tbs. of the sage and heat until the butter browns. Strain the butter into a small bowl and discard the sage. Cover the bowl to keep the butter warm.

In a large saucepan over medium-high heat, whisk together the stock and squash puree. Bring just to a simmer, 8 to 10 minutes; maintain over low heat.

In a large saucepan or risotto pan over medium heat, warm the olive oil. Add the caramelized onions and rice and stir until the grains are well coated with the oil and are nearly translucent with a white dot in the center, about 3 minutes. Stir in the remaining 1 Tbs. sage and the rosemary. Add the wine and stir until it is absorbed.

Add the simmering stock mixture a ladleful at a time, stirring frequently after each addition. Wait until the stock is almost completely absorbed before adding more.

When the rice is tender to the bite but slightly firm in the center and looks creamy, after about 30 minutes, stir in the remaining 3 Tbs. butter, the cheese, salt and pepper. Add more stock if needed so the rice is thick and creamy. Let stand for 2 minutes. Drizzle with the reserved sage butter and serve immediately. Serves 6.

I wish I took a picture of the finished dish. To be honest, it didn't look all that pretty, but looks were deceiving, and it was delicious! I've been eating it for 3 days and I still have way too much! I would definitely cut this recipe in half next time, or make this the way it is for a holiday party. Wholesome, comfort food is what this is for me. I would even try substituting the butternut squash for pumpkin and maybe add some nutmeg or all spice seasoning.

Have you attempted a dish you wouldn't dream yourself making? Did you surprise yourself like I did?

Toy Story

2010-11-04T16:42:00.000-04:00

It's quite popular in our home. We watch Buzz-Woody so frequently, I keep one of the dvds in the dvd player. My little guy isn't even 2 and he's obsessed with the characters. I think it's funny to see the types of toys, themes, and characters that hook themselves into my sons heart. He has a hard time letting go of them.

Dressed up as Buzz-Woody for trick or treating

It's quite funny actually. I decided to let him play the part of his hero, Buzz. He ran around the neighborhood for the whole hour and half that we were outside. There was no stopping him. He was Buzz of course!

But after 3 parties as Buzz, we decided to let Woody join the crowds. He had as much fun, if not more. I actually don't know which character my son enjoyed more. He loves them both equally, it's hard to pick one.

Woody's ready for the next party!

Do you let your kids decide what to dress up for Halloween? Or is everyday Halloween in your home?

Book Nook: Bear Feels Sick

2010-10-29T09:54:00.000-04:00

I've been trying to get some reading done, however I've reached a reader's block. Is that a term people use? Like saying writer's block?

Anyways, I figured I would share one of the books my son loves, and well, so do I.

by Karma Wilson

We received this book about a year ago as a gift. I'm still learning which books are popular with babies and toddlers. We have a few personal preferences at home, but I've learned that when I'm shopping for a book for my kid, I really need to see the book in person before I bring it home to share.

Some books are too wordy. Some books have illustrations that aren't very colorful. Some books are bold, while others books may have too many pages. We like to read in our house, but we're kind of picky as to the book we intend to read.

Bear Feels Sick is such a sweet story. The illustrations are very colorful and warm. My son gravitates to this story and even plays along with the sound effects that I make when the bear coughs and sneezes and wheezes and moans.

It's a cuddly book for us as we snuggle together under a blanket and read about the big Bear and how his friends help him get better.

Pumpkin Decorating

2010-10-27T09:39:00.000-04:00

We have a few pumpkins on our front steps, by few I mean four. I really have no desire to carve them this year. Okay, maybe I'll carve one, but really... that's it. I just can't fathom carving four pumpkins. My husband isn't interested in carving any. But Halloween is around the corner and really, how can you go through Halloween without having a Jack-O-Lantern by your front door?

So I decided to let my son decorate his own pumpkin. He had a blast at the idea of painting. I never realized how much he enjoyed painting! He used every color we had and painted in the same spot, over and over again. I'd suggest painting in a different area, but he insisted on painting in the same spot. Over and over again.

He's so excited to start painting!

We included some foam stickers shaped like dinosaurs, trucks, cars, planes, trains, and helopcopters. Then we glued some pom poms... just to add some extra flare =)

He didn't want to stop. He whined to keep painting and sticking and gluing. I'm glad he appreciated the quick craft we completed together. Actually, HE did the crafting while I did the gluing. He didn't want me to help in any way. I don't mind though since I was thrilled to see his artistic side.

My crafty kid... he was so proud =)

Gender considerations

2010-10-26T10:37:00.001-04:00

I have a 23 month old son. He's been my life since the moment I found out I was pregnant. I didn't know I was having a boy until I was about 20 weeks pregnant. My husband and I decided to find out. It was our first baby and we needed to know. We clearly didn't care what we were having, boy or girl, we were happy just the same. So why did we need to know the gender?

My husband needed to know more than I did. I was happy with all sorts of gender neutral baby clothes, toys, and decorations. A baby is a baby, right? Blue and Pink don't really make the baby, it's the love, home, and warmth that a couple brings to a new persons life.

But we decided to find out the gender. We considered this was appropriate because we wanted to be prepared. We wanted to know the name of our child before he or she was born.

However, once we found out the news we'd have a boy, nothing changed with the plans of our future. We still decorated the baby's room with green walls, white furniture, and a silly Muppet theme. No bears, sports, dolls, or frills. To me, we decorated a gender neutral baby room. I decided once our son arrived, we'd make adjustments according to his personality.

Ironically, we haven't had the need to change much, but we've added more 'fun' to his room. At 23 months old he does in fact know the characters of the Muppets. If we had a girl, I'm sure her love for the silly characters would be the same. (I grew up loving the Muppets, particularly Animal).

The only difference in how we've raised our baby is the fact we have no dollies, no strappy dress shoes, no barretts or pony tail elastics. I feel our gender neutral home is just that, simple and equal. And the fact that our son does like the color pink doesn't mean he wears the color, but enjoys drinking out of a pink sippy cup. It's a color after all, not a life style. We color in pink and he even enjoys watching Dora the Explorer. To me, there's nothing wrong with that, but to others, they may raise an eyebrow as to 'why'.

I don't ask Why, but Why Not? Why Not let my son have an interest in anything and everything? We can play kick ball or base ball, then color pink hearts and flowers too.

I'm sure when and if we have baby #2 there will be more changes and more gender considerations. Will we find out what baby #2 will be? Or will we decide to wait it out until the baby is born? It's a real personal decision and I'd like to think people would respect any decision an expecting parent would make. To justify that someone needs to know because they want to buy clothing or a toy isn't enough of a reason for me.

Yes, I have a son. He's my child, my kid. I hope that by the time he's my age the world will have developed a different outlook on gender. I can only hope that society will encourage kids to listen to their heart and gut, and not what others say or think.

Mummy... socks off!

2010-10-24T12:37:00.000-04:00

We've gotten into a habit of taking our shoes off at the front door. I am trying to teach my son the habit of sitting on the steps inside the house so I can remove his shoes, coat, and hat. Sometimes he's too excited and flees into the house. Other times he's pleased with the new routine and doesn't fuss much. But lately he's taken to the idea of removing the socks as well.

Typically, during the warmer months, I don't care much for socks myself. In fact, no surprise, but we don't wear socks that much.

However, our house has hardwood floors and ceramic tile. We do have a few scatter rugs, but that ceramic tile can be cold. Apparently my son doesn't mind. He insists on pulling those itty-biddy socks off his feet, and keep his toes cold.

He'll tell me he's pulled his socks off. If I ask him if they were hot, he'll say yes and start blowing on his toes. Because when our food is hot, we blow on the food to cool it off. I think he's having a hard time with these differences, because when I do feel his feet to see if they are warm, they're cold.

He prefers bare feet. So do I. But we're working on wearing fun slippers, although he'd rather wear his green froggy boots that are too small for his growing feet.

We pick our battles and he knows that socks are required with shoes. However, while spending time in the house, the socks are off.

I'm sure I'm not the only one with a battle similar to this. In fact, I let my son win these battles because I'm sure there will be other, more important, issues that I'll need to find a hefty compromise with him.

Let the Countdown Begin!

2010-10-21T11:30:00.000-04:00

I'm having a hard time focusing lately. I completely forgot about my blog. How does that even happen? Sometimes I just read blogs and don't write, but lately, I haven't even been doing that. Today I realized I've been consumed with our trip: The Gauntlet.

We'll be going soon. Well, not that soon, but it's certainly soon enough! I'll be sprinkling fairy dust soon and hopefully experiencing all the magic WDW has to offer. If you've never been, I'm sorry... SO sorry...

It's a place that isn't for everyone though. But to never have gone? I just can't even imagine that's possible. Everyone should take the time to experience the magic once.

My husband and I are traveling solo. The kid is staying home. Not alone of course. We're not THAT mean. He won't even realize that he's missing out on a fun time, but he'll have his chance soon. =) We're planning a fun, long week with him later next year.

So our January trip is booked. We have the flights, the resort, and now we're working on the plan. We usually travel on a whim, with a few ideas in mind of what we'd like to do. Usually this works well for us and then make all the arrangements when we get to our destination. But this trip is a little different. 2 nights and 1 day requires some planning ahead. Which rides are we going to tackle? Which order of the parks will we visit? When are the Extra Magic Hours? Will we eat? If so, where!??

I'd like to have one really nice dinner. I've been doing some research on where we'll be and what nice restaurants will be nearby. I've narrowed it down to 2 and now I'm comparing the menus to see what atmosphere would suit us best.

You may think the planning takes all the fun out of a vacation. I can honestly say this hasn't happened to me yet. Actually it never does, because I know once we arrive there will be obstacles. There usually are when it comes to Disney. I've had my fair share of burn-out moments, but when I reflect on my memories, it all brings a smile to my face and I can't wait to go back.

So I have my preliminary itinerary, but of course this could change as soon as we arrive. Honestly, it won't matter how we do it, but it's always good to have a game plan.

Let the countdown begin!

80 more days =)

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Football Beanie

2010-10-15T09:06:00.000-04:00

I recently purchased a hat for my son. He loves hats. I was looking for something simple, something fun, something different. I like shopping on Etsy for purposes like that, when you know the local malls won't have what you're looking for, and you know some crafty person has already thought of what you needed. And it's there, on Etsy, waiting for you.

I found my sons simple, fun, and different hat here. Since hats are made to order, I'd like to thank angelschest for making this for my son!

We just received the hat yesterday and I immediately put it on my son. It fits well and there is still room to grow. It's a perfect addition to his hat collection! The hat, by the way, looks professional. It feels very sturdy and rugged, yet soft enough for my 22 month old son. He's not quite sure what to do with the ties but I'm sure he'll be used to them in no time. I can't wait to snap some pictures of him wearing this hat!

Flying Solo

2010-10-15T08:47:00.000-04:00

At the end of the day I feel good. I know my son and I can find the patience for each other and tackle each speed bump together. He's not quite 2 yet, but he thinks he's a smart cookie. Well, he is, but I'm biased.

For the next four weeks, except weekends, my son and I will be doing what we do without his Daddy. He'll be away for work and it's really the first time since our son was born that he has a commitment like this. But it's okay. We'll make it okay.

My husband does the morning wake-up routine with our son. This includes getting him up, change diaper, dressing for the day, and coming downstairs to settle him onto the couch and flips on the Disney channel. After handing some milk to our son, he's set for the time being while I get myself ready and pack lunches.

Daddy is missed. Terribly. Morning 2 had my son asking for Daddy before he could even see clearly after waking up. I explain that Daddy had to leave early and he gave a smooch while you were sleeping, he loves you. The comprehension of a 22 month old is limited, but I know he can understand simple facts.

So it's not often my son and I get to spend so much solo time together. It almost feels like he knows he is just with me and is not being so two-year-old towards me. It's nice actually. I haven't had any breakdown moments with him. For the most part, he's been very well behaved. (knock on wood)

Granted, we've only made it through the first week. My husband drives home today and come Monday we'll be saying bye again. My son won't understand this schedule, but I'm sure we can manage. We'll find balance together.

Doing the Gauntlet...

2010-10-12T12:04:00.000-04:00

It's official. We're 'doing' the Gauntlet.

What's the Gauntlet you ask?

Good question... =) It's a term used quite frequently in our house, especially by my mouse-crazed husband. Don't get me wrong, I love that he is a kid at heart. But he could talk about Disney World all day. Every day.

Sometimes he does.

So we're due to 'do' the Gauntlet in 13 weeks. Thirteen! I need to now book the hotel and buy tickets, and oh maybe reserve a place for dinner. But I hear we're going on the same weekend as Disney's Marathon weekend. I actually wish I was in shape to run the half marathon that is schedule for that Saturday, but oh well. I'll have to settle with running through all four parks and riding the rides instead =)

The last time I was at Disney, I was 8 weeks pregnant. And let me tell you... life was not so welcoming while living in the first trimester. But I did what I could and we took our time.

But not this time around. We're going full steam ahead. The snails are staying behind!

I'm looking forward to this Gauntlet. Have I mentioned exactly what our version of the Gauntlet is? It's simple actually. Fly down to Disney and just spend 2 nights and 1 full day... at all the parks. Crazy, right? I'll admit it, we're nuts. But that's us.

Oh and the kid will actually have to sit this one out. Maybe someday he'll run the Gauntlet with us. But for now, this is our turn. I'm sure I will need some serious pain medication afterwards, or I'll just chop my feet off. We'll see. =)

Swim Lessons

2010-10-05T15:25:00.000-04:00

I registered my son for swimming lessons. He's only 22 months old but I've heard it's never too early to start. I'm not looking for him to reach the Olympics. I'm hoping he, eventually, will learn life saving skills and techniques while in the water. I don't want my son afraid of the water or ever feel like he can't go into the deep end of the pool because he doesn't know how to swim.

I'm not the best swimmer. In fact, I float with some movement. It's enough to get me by. It's all about the journey anyways, right? I don't really have a destination when I swim, but more recreational. So that's the least I can expect what my son will learn, right? Or so I hope so.

Our first lesson was on Sunday.

The water was cold.

He doesn't like cold water.

Out... OUT! he cried for 20 minutes.

We bobbed, we sang, we splashed... he cried.

Then we each received a ducky and a whole knew game started, and my son decided he wanted to play.

Five minutes later the class was over and he clapped and cheered YAY! He said he had fun and that's all that matters.

I asked Do you want to come back to pool again?

YEAH! he squealed.

After taking a quick warm shower to heat our chilly buns, we dressed and went home to tell Daddy the news.

Swim lessons was fun and we'll do it again. =)

1 to 10

2010-10-04T15:17:00.000-04:00

We read many stories that include counting. We watch cartoons that involve counting. We even count how many cookies or crackers we plan on eating. I knew my son understood the words, but did he really understand what they meant? I'll find him repeating numbers after me; one, two, thfree... and point to the objects as we count along. He's becoming my little copy cat.

Yesterday I discovered he can count higher.

Yesterday I discovered he can count all the way to 10.

I was shocked. I actually thought, did he really just say those words? Does he know he's counting? Maybe he thinks of it as a sentence? Like we say: Open the door please. He memorizes the sequence of words. Perhaps these numbers are just words to him. How much can a 22 month old know, and realize, about numbers?

Either way, I'm excited. I'm excited to hear all ten of those words come out of his mouth and in the right order. I like the way he points to an object and acts like he's counting each item: one, two, three, ... all the way to ten. So he really doesn't understand the two pretzels he has in front of him, are only two and not ten. But he shows so much excitement when I cheer and applaud at the fact he's counting from 1 to 10. He's proud of his accomplishment, and he should be. =)

Disheveled

2010-10-04T08:49:00.000-04:00

I'm feeling disheveled today and I'm not sure why. I am hoping my vitamins help me feel balanced. But I just took those and I'm sure it'll be a while before I feel better. The vitamins are organic and probiotic, and I'm excited to feel the benefits. I ordered them online and will post later once I have more to say about those.

I feel like a rag doll. The clothes I picked to wear today feel old, worn, floppy. It's just some linen/cotton pants with a sweater. In fact, I rarely wear these particular clothes. But now that I'm wearing them, maybe that's why I rarely wear them. They make me feel ick.

A shopping spree would be nice. Would be are key words here. Most of my shopping sprees are saved for groceries and things needed for my 22 month old son. I don't mind that my priorities fall in that direction, in fact, it's my choice for it to be that way.

So I never, ever, okay not ever, give clothes away. Sometimes I do, sometimes. But mostly, if you were to look through my closet and storage, you will find clothes from 10 years ago. There are clothes that I haven't worn in 10 years. So why do I have them? Because there are moments where I just can't bring myself to doing laundry (pathetic I know) and I find myself looking for pants or a top that I haven't even worn in I don't know how long. Scary.

But I don't mind. Nobody knows this. Unless someone is reading this and may wonder the next time you see me, how old are those clothes?! :)

I feel it's no different than shopping at a consignment store, or a yard sale. Granted, I don't buy myself clothes at either of these stores for the simple fact, I have too many clothes already.

So today I will allow myself to feel disheveled. I parked my car, scrubbed a few swipes of blush on my face (I rarely wear any makeup so this is the extent of what I would wear), rolled some lavender on my wrists and hoped for the best.

Other Parents

2010-09-29T13:48:00.000-04:00

Every morning I drop off my 22 month old son at his school. The school watches kids between the ages of 6 weeks to 5 years old. So there is a wide range of children scooting, walking, and running around excited to start their day of play. Of course there is learning going on, but really, it's mostly play.

Every afternoon I pick up my 22 month old son from his school. If it's a nice day out, I can find him in the playground, usually covered in dirt. Somehow the dirt is caked onto his skin. How does this happen? However if the weather isn't the best, the kids are inside one of the classrooms playing or exploring.

Each of these mornings and afternoons I usually see the same parents picking up and dropping off. I assume that they all have jobs to get to, since they're dressed rather nicely. Some look like they're dressed for the gym, well, maybe that's where they work. In either case, I leave my son at his school and as I pull out of the parking lot, I reflect on these other parents and the roles they play outside their homes. Are they business owners, executives, bankers, coaches, or retail associates? At the point of which we say goodbye to our kiddos, is the point where we place a new hat on our heads and gear up for the day ahead.

As I pass each parent I either nod or say Hi. We'll hold doors open for each other or give soothing smiles when our little one isn't ready to say goodbye.

The commonality of our roles is the same, we're Moms, Dads, or another caregiver to these children. We put our trust into these schools and daycares to ensure our children get the best care. We trust these teachers and set our fears aside and buckle up for the workday ahead.

Even though I don't have a chance to socialize with these other parents, I do think of them often. I wonder if they had the kind of morning we had and if their kid made it a point to wear his rubber boots instead of his sneakers. At the end of the day, I hope they're able to put their crazy work day aside once they see their kids and greet them with warm, fresh hugs and kisses.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately, and I'm not sure why.

Hello Autumn!

2010-09-23T11:18:00.000-04:00

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It's Autumn! Or some of us like to call it Fall. It's the season of apple and pumpkin picking, scarecrows, mums, pies, hay rides, foliage, maple syrup, apple cider donuts, honey sticks, hot or cold apple cider, and maybe the occasional warm Indian summer sort of day. As much as I love summer, the fall also holds a particular place in my heart.

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I enjoy seeing the leaves change from green to red, orange, and yellow. Did you know trees will change a different color from one year to the next? We have a few mums paired with small pumpkins next to our front steps. It's refreshing to see the change in seasons. August can be so humid and thick with pollen, sometimes it's hard to breath in the fresh air. So when fall comes around, it's all I want to do and sit outside and take a deep breath.

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We don't have too many plans this fall, except on the top of my list is apple picking. It's unfortunate a lot of orchards had to shut down their PYO (pick your own) fields due to the frost we had in the spring. A lot of the apple blossoms didn't make it through that frost spell. It's unfortunate and I hope we'll be able to get some picking in soon.

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There will be a couple of warm days coming up, just in time for the weekend. It'll be nice to spend some time outside over the weekend and enjoy the foliage, but with 80's one day and 60's the next, it's no wonder we often have colds before the first snow fall. The colors will be peaking soon and it would be nice to have everyone feeling their best so we can enjoy the season.

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I couldn't imagine being anywhere else in the world right now, but here in NH. There is nothing better than spending fall in New England with a warm mug of apple cider.

A Role Model

2010-09-20T10:19:00.000-04:00

Merriam-Webster defines Role Model as: a person whose behavior in a particular role is imitated by others.

Wikipedia says: The term role model generally means any "person who serves as an example, whose behaviour is emulated by others"

Since I have had my son, I've had more time to ponder what type of parent I'd be for him. Sure, I'll love unconditionally, encourage, and teach him as much as possible. But there are many things I won't be able to provide, and it's those things that I often think about the role models that are in his life. What type of person will my son grow fond of and look up to. Other than his Mom and Dad, there will be many people that will come in and out of his life, but I know there will be a select few that will take hold of his heart, and blend into his soul.

My 22 month old son is still learning to speak, but he has no problems speaking with body language. I have also learned he is a very cautious person, sometimes shy, but not shy enough where he enjoys joining the crowd of kids to play with toys. I am convinced that as he grows, so will his desire to reach forward at lifes treasures.

When my son was 5 months old, we had him baptized. We selected godparents too. These people are family members that are important to us, as parents, so we hope that they'll be just as important to him.

I'm committed to nurturing the connection of positive people in our lives. It's hard, sometimes, to keep connections growing, but sometimes the work is easy. Sometimes it's easy to lean on others no matter how blustery life can be.

22 months later

2010-09-18T23:55:00.000-04:00

22 months ago my life changed dramatically, for the better. We've had our ups and downs, but when we have our downs, we're never there very long. You have brought a new balance to my life. You have introduce a side of me that I never knew existed, I think only you could have taught me who I am.

I have learned so much from you in the past 22 months. 22 months! I am still in shock at how blessed I am to have you in my life. I sometimes hold my breath and think, this must be a dream. How could something so unique, so passionate, so real... be all mine, to share with the world.

I cannot wait to introduce you to our world. To show you life's challenges and triumphs. You are 22 months old today and I have cherished every moment we've had, and will soak up our future. You are my son and I love you to the pit of my gut.

200th Post

2010-09-17T09:17:00.000-04:00

I just realized this is my 200th post. Crazy! I started this blog at the beginning of the year with intentions of sticking to this blog, my so-called-journal. I wanted to write about being a mother and talk about what mattered most to me.

I'm sort of a private person, I don't particularly jump into a conversation about myself. At least not with someone I don't know very well, or at all.

I've 'met' a lot of different people through their blogs. There is a lot of inspiring folks out there. I feel like blogging is still new to me and I have a lot to learn. But the one thing I have learned about myself since starting this blog is that it's okay, and anything goes. The intention of this blog is for me and not anyone else.

Sometimes my focus changes, as do my routines. Life fluctuates and I suppose there is a natural tendency for change to happen daily. If you allow that change to happen.

200 posts doesn't seem like a lot, but when I look over the past 9 months, it's almost a lifetime ago when I started this blog. It's been a fun journey and I am looking forward to what tomorrow brings.

Football season

2010-09-16T16:26:00.000-04:00

Does someone in your house watch football? Are you that person who is glued to the game? I'm particularly not a huge fan of the sport, but I don't have negative thoughts about it either. It's just not my cup of tea, if you know what I mean. My husband enjoys the sport and he's excited to teach our son the love too. So far, he's learned what about the football shirt. He wore it with his father all day last Sunday.

I should have gotten a picture of the both of them together. I didn't think about it at the time. In fact, I think these were taken just after a snack while my husband was downstairs in his man-cave watching the game. Of course.

So I took these instead.

I call this his 'lip face'

He's saying "Cool Dude" here. Duuuude is what I captured.

So even though I'm not a huge fan of the sport, I suppose my love may grow for football just as my son does too.

Green Clover and Aloe by Jenness Farm

2010-09-15T13:48:00.000-04:00

I'm really enjoying these goat milk soaps. Since I just finished the Blackberries & Cream, I decided my next bar is the Green Clover and Aloe.

Today was my first day with this bar and WOW. It's like the clover oils were extracted and poured into this soap. It feels so nourishing and healthy, just like smelling a soccer field or football field after it's been mowed. I guess that sounds like fresh cut grass, but it's really not like that, but the clover flower smell. OOOOH
Thank you Jenness Farm! :)

Blackberries & Cream by Jenness Farm

2010-09-15T13:42:00.000-04:00

I recently finished this bar of soap from Jenness Farm. This soap smelled delicious! Blackberries & cream would leave me feeling hungry every morning.

Creamy lather, berry flavor. Each lather came this rich smooth texture of bubbles and froth. What more could I ask for? I was not disappointed.

On a scale of 1 to 5 bubbles, I give Blackberries & Cream a 5! blub blub blub!

Swim lessons

2010-09-13T10:25:00.000-04:00

I've enrolled you in your first activity. I'm really excited for you and hope you enjoy the swim lessons you'll be taking. Of course I'll be in the water with you. You are still too small to take the lessons by yourself. You love water and you love splashing, especially when you're splashing me.

Our neighbor is going too and I know you two will have fun. I think seeing the other kids play in the water will help ease any fears you may have with the lessons. There is always some hesitation when starting something new. You trust me, but you are still a very cautious person when I introduce you to something new. I have confidence you will thrive with this new experience.

Three more weeks and we'll begin this new adventure. I know there will be many like this, sports, clubs, teams, or however your interests guide you. I will be there to give you that extra nudge and encourage you to do your best.

I personally feel what you will learn from these swim lessons will help guide you for the rest of your life. I'm not a great swimmer nor do I have any technical skills to teach you. I'm sure there will be a time when you will be able to out swim me, and I look forward to that day. For now, I will be your floatation device and let you cling to my shoulders while we bob in the water. We'll blow bubbles and kick our feet, and I'm sure you'll laugh with excitment.

Hats

2010-09-08T09:32:00.000-04:00

You call them Ats.

You're so silly with your hats. You like to wear fun hats, sun hats, and ball caps. When we leave the house to go out and play, or if we just heading to the store, you look for your hat. It's become your staple to the thing you need before leaving the house.

The helmet you ask to wear is something you'd like to wear inside the house. You've only had the helmet a short time, but you would enjoy wearing that helmet everywhere. If I'd let you, but you talk about helmets and who is wearing them, all the time.

Hats are fun to play dress up, or just to keep the sun out of your eyes.

But who wouldn't enjoy hats... especially when you can dress up like this:

Feeling naked

2010-09-03T13:34:00.000-04:00

I forgot my cell phone today. It's still on the charger at home. I don't forget it often, so when I do, I feel naked.

There are a few essential things I require when I walk out my front door everyday.

1) my kid
2) my keys
3) my phone

Any of these things missing makes me feel lost. Or naked. I need to know where they are at all times. Sometimes my 21 month old son likes to play with my keys, lock the car doors, and hide the keys in the house. Okay, he may not hide them, but drop them next to the toy he saw after he was done playing with the keys.

My phone is another item of mine that my son likes to use. He pushes the buttons and squeals when he sees his picture on the screen. Sometimes he calls the last person I had called. The last time he did that, it was my boss. OOPS! Luckily when I asked my boss about it, he wasn't in the office at that time.

I really don't like feeling tethered to my phone, but it has become an essential part of my human existence. I don't use it alot, but I need it. If I don't have it, I fear that will be the moment my car breaks down on an unused side road. (Why would I be driving down a road like that in the first place??) It's still my fear.

Kids & Vinyl Tableclothes

2010-09-01T11:57:00.000-04:00

I'm not a fan of vinyl tablecloths, but I use them. I use them because they help create decoration in my kitchen, and a conversation piece for my 21 month old son. If we're in between seasons or holidays, I use a plain green and yellow bamboo vinyl tablecloth. However, this week I've changed the theme: Birthday

It's not my sons birthday, since he's only 21 months old. It will be my husbands birthday soon and I felt like being in the party mood early. So last week I set the table up with the birthday themed vinyl tablecloth. This tablecloth has balloons, slices of cake, cupcakes with candles, and presents. My son enjoys looking at the pictures and will even tell me the candles need to be blown out. He tries to do it himself. It's quite funny to watch him blow the fake candles out.

Dirtday Ardy!

That's what he says as he's pointing to the table. He cannot wait for the real deal with his Daddy. I practice singing the Birthday song and sometimes he enjoys it, other times he tries to get down from his booster chair and run away. I think he thinks I'm singing the song to him as I sing happy birthday to you, which really I'm referring to his Daddy. I tell him that it will be his birthday soon. He seems excited at the thought, but when the day actually is here, I'm sure he'll be interesting.

My son also likes to pull at our tablecloth or lift it up to see what is hidden underneath. So there are rules to having a tablecloth, which I didn't intend on having, but it has become essential. I then realized it may be good to have these rules for when we are out at a restaurant (HA-when and if we go), or to a friend or families house, it's important to understand we do not need to disassemble the kitchen table. I guess it goes along with my other belief on child-proofing. Or maybe this is just how things have been working with my son. When #2 comes around, my theories may change. What do you think?

Beginning to end, and a new beginning

2010-08-31T16:43:00.000-04:00

It's been 1.5 months in a new school. We've met new friends, read new books, and played new games. It's been fun, and it's come to an end.

I knew this was coming. I knew it would be hard. I just never prepared for it. But looking into the future I see more fun days and silly grins. I see a kid who will keep on playing. I suppose I'm the one who has to deal with the emotions of the ending and a new beginning.

The beginnings will be good. The beginnings will be fun. I do know this, and so will he.

Washing Hands

2010-08-24T09:31:00.000-04:00

My 21 month old son loves washing his hands. After he is dressed, he asks to wash his hands. When he comes inside from playing, he washes his hands. After a snack or meal, he asks to wash his hands. He enjoys it, the foamy soap and the water. What kid wouldn't find that fun?

So it was important to me to find a soap that was safe and chemical free. I found CleanWell at my local market and have also read online how wonderful this product is. The price for the bottle didn't break the bank either!

The market only had two scents: Lavender and Ginger Bergamot. I chose Lavender since this would be soap I would be using in my bathroom. I'm not sure how my husband will feel about smelling like fresh lavender, but I didn't care. (He has his own bathroom anyways).

The bottle is reusable. The label you see on these bottles can easily be removed. Behind it, printed on the bottle is the CleanWell label and a list of ingredients.

Their website does offer 32 ounce refill bottles for $13.99. Again, to me, this doesn't break the bank since a little does go a long way, and there are no chemicals and no triclosan.

The Cosmetic Database also rates CleanWell hand soaps and sanitizers with a 1. Very impressive!

Flu season is just around the corner and I'm going to jump in line with my son, washing hands is always important, so why not encourage the act even more when he's showing interest. (Typically I wash his hands with a wash cloth)

So do you have a favorite soap to use with your kids? Do you use a bar soap or liquid? Do you splurge and purchase chemically free soap or do you have to limit to what is 99 cents?

Healing Hearts by Kathy Magliato

2010-08-23T15:00:00.000-04:00

I was pleasantly surprised with Healing Hearts. Kathy Magliato's story has such inspiration and passion. She prooves anything is possible.

Woman, surgeon, mother, Kathy tells her story of how she came to love the heart and why she chose the heart. She talks about how to juggle a career and family.

Kathy has left me wanting to know more about heart disease as she details facts and relates textbook language to real life stories. She has also become the president of the American Heart Association.

Kathy is a true hero and fighter. If I had my choice, I'd want her to be my heart surgeon any day.

photo credit

No Ga-Ga's!

2010-08-20T10:34:00.000-04:00

I was never excited about the idea of pacifiers. When my son was born, shortly a few days afterwards, I found out the nurses had given him a pacifier. I wasn't ready for that commitment. My baby had never known what one was and I wanted to be the one who determines if and when he'd start using a pacifier. After bringing our son home for the first time I was committed to using the pacifier under strict circumstances.

Long car rides
Naps
Bedtime

That was it. I wasn't about to let my son have his pacifier if he was awake. So he never did, he never looked for the pacifier.

My husband and I ended up naming our pacifiers Nuk-Nuk, basically because of the brand Nuk. As my son started babbling and talking, he developed his own name for the Nuk-Nuk, and called it Ga-Ga. So we went with it.

Ga-Ga's have been everywhere, shoved in pockets at the grocery stores in fear he's sob uncontrollably. I'd bring it to the doctors knowing he'd be having shots. On long car rides when we'd need a little peace. And of course when he's napping and sleeping at night.

In his bed at home we keep multiple Ga-Ga's. 4 to be exact. One for each corner, although when he goes to bed, he likes holding 3 of them and sucking on 1. He tucks them in his little hands and under his blanket (ganket).

My son is now 21 months old and the other day his daycare experiemented with him and told him he had his Pooh and that he didn't need his Ga-Ga. (Pooh has been around since we came home from the hospital.) He appeared to accept that explanation and proceeded to take a nap, no problems, no questions. Two days in a row he slept great, with no Ga-Ga.

So last night I attempted our first night without Ga-Ga's. Things seemed okay. He looked around his crib for a while. I told him I'd stay in his room and lay on the spare bed next to him. He seemed okay with that and enjoyed the extra comfort of my presence in the room. After a few minutes he did fall asleep without a problem. But by 12:30 he was awake and looking for me, where did Mommy go? I ended up sleeping in his room all night. My husband thinks I should have just given him the Ga-Ga and deal with this another day. But he wasn't asking for it, how could I give him something he wasn't looking for. I know he definitely could have used it, but we're trying to go a night without it. We can do this, I know we can.

He was up many times but overall, he did great. No Ga-Ga! There were lots of high-fives and yelling No Ga-Ga afterwards. Yes, he even chimed in and repeated after me. He was weary, but excited. He enjoyed the success.

Part of me is sad. My baby is taking a step and growing up. Breaking habits is not fun, and I know pacifiers won't be used throughout his life. But there comes a time when we all need to learn to let go of something. He may need to rely on something else to replace the missing Ga-Ga. I hope it's his Pooh bear. Maybe it will be something else?

How about you? How have your kids transitioned away from using the pacifier? How did you cope with the change?

Warm Summer Breeze

2010-08-19T13:51:00.000-04:00

I'm feeling nostalgic. I try not to think about what is around the corner: cold, fall air. August has been very generous to us here in NH. The weekends have been beautiful. Warm. Sunny. Breezy. Perfect. We've had so many days like this I feel like I need to hold my breath in fear things will change very quickly. In New England, weather is very unpredictable. Yes, I keep mittens and an ice scraper in my car year round. You just never know (It has snowed in May).

The past few weeks have been heavenly. I ride in my car with the sunroof open, windows down, and my hair flipping in the breeze. It seems everyone has the same feeling as I watch convertibles cruise down the highway with their tops down and hair flying around. As I near my home there are fields on hay being bound and made into bales. They sit and wait for the local farmers to pick up and (I'm assuming) store for the winter months. I have grown fond of these images it has made me feel summer is truely here. The hay bales are starting to be picked up and it reminds me summer won't last for long.

credit- picsdigger

I wish I could capture the moment we've been having lately and seal it tightly inside a glass bottle. I'd like to be able to view a perfect sunny day whenever I'm feeling blue. The sun really perks up my soul. How could it not?

I love the way my skin smells after being in the sun. I wear my flip flops so much they're starting to develop holes but I refuse to buy another pair. I have been using the same navy blue flip flops for, maybe, 10 years. I kid you not. I love them. I love giving myself pedicures, although I haven't used nail polish in over a year. I have come to enjoy the nakedness of my toe nails.

Summer should never end. Although as much fun spring, fall, and winter can be, my true favorite is summertime in August. Dry heat, and although there is some pollen in the air, it doesn't affect me. However, my poor kid struggles with it and I hope he will develop an immune system to it like me.

Summer in NH won't last forever. If you blink you may not see the change in the seasons and fall will be here. We are already seeing Pumpkin head Ale in the grocery stores. (I was shocked!) I'll be left wondering where my sunny breezy days are, but I'm sure I'll be posting how beautiful fall can be.

If Chatty Kathy had a brother...

2010-08-13T09:37:00.000-04:00

My son is almost 21 months. Usually the week before, I notice a leap in his development. This week, it's been his speech. He talks constantly. Lately he's been spitting out 3 word sentences. He's grasping at words as if they've been a part of his vocabulary forever.

It makes me stop and think when did this little guy show up? Out of nowhere I am seeing the boy around the corner and the baby waving goodbye. It breaks my heart, yet I am excited to see what our future holds.

I cannot wait to hear his questions, the 'why' and 'why not'? I'm no longer a Mama but now am a Mommy. He knows how to wrap my heart around his little fingers. He knows me so well, just like I know him.

I cannot wait to hear the stories he'll share. Stories about school, camp, or about a birthday party with his friends. Sports, clubs, teams, it will all be here before I know it.

He speaks 3 word sentences today and he blows me away with his knowledge. The world to him is sparkly and new, and I'd love to keep it that way for him... for a while at least. So I'll do my best to paint his world in pretty colors. I'll gasp and gaze with him when he spots that bird in the sky or that grey bus on the road. Sharing these moments with him has made my days brighter and stronger. I can't wait to hear what he'll tell me next.

Helmets

2010-08-12T12:11:00.000-04:00

It's summer time and my 20 month old son has a new bike. It has fancy streamers, red handle bars, bright blue seat, and a yellow bucket in the back for toys, rocks, sticks, dirt... you name it.

He can't quite maneuver the peddles so he finds pushes makes the bike move faster.

He likes hopping on and off the bike, and playing with a bell we added later. The bell was something his smaller bike had and he enjoys making the 'ding-ding' sound.

He's pretending to make the 'ding-ding' sound.

We haven't spent too much time with the bike. Usually he plays with it in the house and rides in the kitchen or living room. So we never really had any issues or thoughts about using a helmet. But he is fully aware of what a helmet is.

My son loves hats. He wears one every day, just because it's what we do. When he was a baby I would have him wear a hat so he wouldn't get a burn on his scalp. The hat has become a staple when we leave the house. He has choose to pick from and he's always excited to put a hat on himself.

Recently he's noticed motorcycles and bicycles on the roads and even sees they wear a hat. I mention their called helmets and that's what people wear when they ride a bike. He now calls them hehmets and is insisting he needs a hehmet for his new bike.

'Soon' is all I can tell him. His birthday is in a few months and it would make a fun gift for him. But a helmet for a 2 year old? I've never shopped for a kids size helmet. Where do I even start? I found a link on the Bicycle Helmet Safety Institute and there is more information that I had imagined about helmets. Who knew there was so much talk about helmets!

But my silly-putty loves hats and what better addition to our collection but to have a hat that is hard... a helmet!

I'll have to do a bit more research on which helmet to find. Do you have any tips or suggestions on how to buy a helmet for a toddler? Is it something I'll need to size his little noggin before purchasing? I've debating about using a hand-me-down but I've also read the pads in the helmets aren't as supportive after so much usage in hand-me-downs.

Healing from the stomach bug

2010-08-11T10:41:00.000-04:00

We've encountered another stomach bug this past weekend. Luckily we weren't hit as hard as before. Nonetheless, my 20 month old still spent the weekend feeling 'off'.

It's been a few days and he's getting back on track with eating again, but it's been tough. He acts like he's hungry but when I offer him food, he turns his nose. He would love to munch on goldfish all day, everyday. Some mornings I do give him goldfish for breakfast because I did justify it with the fact that he wasn't feeling well. And well... any food is better than no food.

So now I'm trying to stick to my guns and make him aware that goldfish are practical snacks, but we can no longer justify making meals out of them. Toast? Sure. Crackers? Okay, maybe with some peanut butter too. But still, he tries his best to refuse, and he in the end, will end up not eating a lot.

We get frustrated and there's a lot of whining going on. I try not to whine too much... my my son seems to make up for it. He wants to get down from the table and drink his juice or milk. There's nothing wrong with that either but now I feel he'd prefer to make his meal out of his drink.

So I pack up his lunch for school. I make sure he has his usual routine lunch which always includes vegetables. He does enjoy them, but lately, he's been exposed to bbq junk food. It'll be a long road to get him back on the veggie train, but I know he'll get there. Until then, we have small battles over what to eat.

We're not very consistent in our eating habits so maybe that's where he is learning this behavior. I try to keep a routine going. Sometimes it works, but most of the time he just snickers at my attempts. I have to remind myself he just had the stomach bug, even though it was as extreme as it could have been, it will take some time for his appetite to return.

How do you justify meal times with a 20 month old? Or any kid for that matter? Where do you draw the line? Some days meals are pretzels and yogurt. Other days it's meatballs and toast. Hot dogs with broccoli and cheese? Sure! We've seen it all, including a few peas for breakfast.

I try not to stress about his lack of eating, but some days are harder than others. How do you cope with recovering from the stomach bug?

Windows: open or closed?

2010-08-09T11:36:00.000-04:00

I love sleeping with the windows open, no matter how cool it may get at night during the summer months. I love the summer air and prefer to leave the windows in our home open all day long. Even if it's raining, I like them open. I love the smell of the warm rainy air.

I managed to marry a guy who is the opposite of me. He prefers to keep the windows closed, all day, all night. At the first sign of a rain drop, he's running around the house shutting the windows. The house warms up so quickly and the air feels too stuffy.

We have an A/C unit in the kitchen wall. I do not like to use this unless the weather is extremely unbearable. I love the summer heat that much. Sometimes I'll agree to turn it on, but only for a few hours which is just long enough to get the humidity out of the house. It's actually nice not to have my bare feet stick to my tile floors.

There is one concern my husband and I have, and it has to do with the windows in our 20 month old sons room. He sleeps upstairs from us, and on the other side of the house. The sun sets on the other side of the house, directly in my sons bedroom. So when he goes to sleep, the room is shining with light and is quite warm. If his windows are open, there is a nice breeze. However, by the time I or my husband go to bed, we are scrambling upstairs to close the windows. Here in our neighborhood, the temperature can get really cool this time of the year. I refuse to dress my son in warm pj's at night, so instead he has a little onsie on and I do notice by the time I'm off to bed, his little thighs are chilly. I try to add an extra blanket since he's usually laying on the one I originally gave him. That extra layer usually wakes him up. So instead I lay the blanket next to him and close his window.

I have constant battles in my head, as well as with my husband. I fear he'll be too hot, like his Mommy, and wake up in the middle of the night. Or do I risk the potential drop in temperature and keep his windows open, only to fear he catches a cold while only wearing his onsie? We can only hope that it doesn't rain, most times the rain comes at an angle and right through his windows. Lucky him, his room is blessed with experiencing all sorts of weather.

I feel we're really neurotic about our windows. Do other parents debate over whether to leave the windows open? Or is the A/C on all summer?

The lake

2010-08-06T11:49:00.000-04:00

We spent 4 nights and 5 days at the lake. The cottage is set in a cove so there isn't much boat traffic near us, but we see a lot of kayaks and canoe's. So it was a perfect spot to let him run around. He hasn't developed the idea he's invisible so he didn't care to go in too deep. He prefered to go up to his ankles or knees.

He loved the water, the sand, the fish. Splashing the water with his hands or swimming on his belly along the sandy beach, he was in his glory.

By 8:30am we were in the water. We couldn't help it. The water was staring at us and the sun was so bright. We had to change from our pj's straight into our bathing suits. He'd run to the water as if something was meeting him there. I suppose there was, the water.

That's the lake, we'd tell him and he was try to repeat us. However, he's still 20 months old so he babbles a lot and it takes either myself or my husband to interpret what he's saying.

The lake has so much to offer, from swimming to boating, to digging in the sand, to calling the fishies. The lake was surely missed the day we left to go home but I know he'll remember some stories for next time. We'll make sure of it.

Tent

2010-08-04T15:58:00.000-04:00

4 nights and 5 days were spent outdoors. Swimming in a lake, riding on a boat, and sleeping in a tent. And do I dare mention the mischief a 20 month old can get into? Nah... I'll save those stories.

My silly putty loved the tent and would giggle and squirm with excitment when it was time for bed or a nap. Our tent is rather large and is advertised to hold 8-9 people. But of course there are only three of us, a queen size air mattress, a pack n' play, and all of our gear. He thought it was a play room but I quickly had to remind him that this was a place where we sleep. He seemed fine with that answer and went about his day, but always got excited for bed.

One particular morning, while it was still quite chilly, he chose to stay in bed a little longer and read. It was a moment I couldn't help but capture and add to his scrapbook of memories.

It wasn't until the day we were packing up to head home, that I was able to capture a few more moments of him enjoying our tent.

Looking for Dada

Trying to clean up

He'll let Mama take a turn but quickly wants to sweep again.

I'm positive he'll love to go camping again but he may need to wait until next year. Some of these nights are getting really cool, and into the low 40's.

Just waking up from his nap and not so ready to go home.

Cukes!!

2010-08-02T11:06:00.001-04:00

My garden is growing! I took this picture 2 weeks ago and it's even bigger today! I'm very disappointed in the arugula, they never had a good chance. And the peas never sprouted... I'm so bummed about that.

But... my cucumbers are out of control! I only have two cucumber plants in the back left side of the garden. They are taking hold of the tomato plants and now stretches across the whole back side of the garden and into the yard.

The tomato plants are doing well too, but the cucumbers are definitely making their presence well known. I've already picked 2. I think they're late compared to my neighbors garden, who has been picking from her garden for a few weeks now. But I'm okay with that. This is my first garden after all. I think next year I'll convert this to a raised garden since most of my soil is clay. The bags of soil I brought in doesn't seem to help the overall growth. I've had to use a lot of fertilizer for a few weeks straight just to get a jump start.

So now I have these cucumbers growing so fast I'm sure I'll have too many very soon! Of course my 20 month old son loves to help me water the garden. I thought he'd be just as interested in trying the cucumber after picking one but he still turns his nose at them when I offer him a slice. Maybe I can offer him a cucumber milk shake that might entice him to love these little green spikey treats. (Did you know cucumbers have little spikes on them? They must dull after time so when you see them in the market they're not so dramatic when you pick them up.)

How do you enjoy your cukes? Sliced, diced, chopped, or pureed in a smoothie?

New school... New germs

2010-07-26T16:56:00.000-04:00

I should have expected this would happen, but after two weeks I thought we were okay.

This weekend proved me wrong...

Your tiny body is so tired, you can hardly stay awake. You rub your eyes. They look puffy with red lids.

With a fever and no sleep, you manage to find the energy to play with Daddy and Mommy. Somewhere inside you, the goofy silly putty still exists. Until you need down time... it's hard for you to relax.

We manage through the day. We manage through the night. Somehow, we survive these battlefields and we're grateful this is all we have to endure.

You may have gained another week at home with us and vacation, but when we go back to school next week the cycle may return. What new germ will this new school present to us next time?

Taking a very early nap... and ended up naping 3.5 hours and waking up with a 102.3 fever

Burt's Bees

2010-07-23T11:33:00.001-04:00

So I have been using the no poo method for quite some time now. I would use the BS rinse every 3-4 days and the ACV rinse every other day. Things were going well, not to mention how cheap it was to clean my hair! My hair felt baby soft for the first few weeks.

But a few weeks ago I decided I needed to make a change.

The texture of my hair was very coarse and thick. My hair felt clean but it didn't feel healthy anymore. So I made the decision to switch to healthier (more expensive) shampoo.

I decided to try Burt's Bees shampoo and conditioner. It's not the greatest shampoo according to the cosmetic database... but it's not the worst either. Burt's Bees shampoo is sulfate free and I only use it every 3 days. I use the conditioner every day and I'm even just as happy with the conditioner.

I've been very impressed with how my hair has turned out after using Burt's Bees shampoo and conditioner for a few weeks now. I do feel like I've been losing a lot of hair though, but I don't know if that has something to do with using the no poo method for so long.

What do you use to clean your hair? Is it something you're committed to using or do you change your routine often?

Summer construction gone wild

2010-07-21T09:53:00.000-04:00

Almost two weeks ago I got a flat tire. I shouldn't call it a flat because it's not your typical flat tire. I was on the highway driving home from visiting with family and my 19 month old son was sleeping in the back seat. He was very lucky in many ways, and missed the whole thing.

Like most roads in the summer time, there's construction being done, especially at night. Road work is everywhere and we constantly see the orange signs, cones, barrels, and flashing yellow lights that remind us to use CAUTION.

But what happens when caution isn't being used by the construction crew?

This tire was in fact ON my car while driving down the highway. This picture shows the tire on the back of my car just before getting it replaced.

It was quite a scary moment when I realized what happened that night. As I was driving by the construction, there was a few men on the road using a jack hammer. One of them actually jumped into the oncoming traffic (aka: ME) and it appeared he had lost control of the jack hammer. I couldn't believe how close they were to the traffic while using this machine.

Needless to say, I passed the construction site with caution and I noticed how loud the jack hammer had been. I didn't think much about it until a few miles down the road my car sounded very loud. Very loud. So much it was like being in an airplane about to take off. My first thought was my engine was about to explode. I never thought I had a flat tire. I quickly decided I needed to pull off the highway and even cut off an 18 wheeler in the meantime. Something was wrong.

After safely stopping the car (and my son sleeping through this mess), I open my door and see my rear tire has smoke coming out of it. I had been riding on my rim for a few miles. Luckily my husband was a few miles ahead of me in his own car but he wouldn't reach me for another 20 minutes.

So there I sat on the side of the highway just as the sun was setting. It wasn't completely dark when I stopped, but the stars were out by the time my rescue came.

We decided we had to transfer our son to my husbands car, all while the highway traffic was wizzing by us. It was quite the scene, I'm sure. Ironically, J didn't seem to mind the move. He stirred a little but was fast asleep by the time I buckled him back into his car seat.

I love the summer, but I don't have the same warm and fuzzy feelings about the construction.

MY down time

2010-07-16T14:14:00.000-04:00

I don't get much down time like I used to... before having my baby. That definition of down time is something I can't even remember. The down time I have now is something very special. So special because I rarely get enough down time to realize I'm experiencing a down time moment.

It usually takes me almost a whole hour to realize I'm in a down time moment. By the time I've unwound, emptied my thoughts, check my email, or clipped my nails, I realize I could have enjoyed my time doing something else.

There should be a list of down time actiivites I should know off the back of my hand. Things that I know I can do when I have a spontaneous down time moment. But I'm sure that list would be misplaced or fallen under the refrigerator.

Some things I'd like to do during my down time would be: read, take a walk, paint toe nails (haven't been done in a year!!), sit on the porch to soak up some sun, or take a bike ride (haven't rode my bike in over 4 years!).

Ideally I'd like a minimum of 30 minutes of down time a day. This 30 minutes would have to be an hour before I fall asleep on the couch too. I have a tendency to realize I should have ME time when it's close to bed time. I value sleep way too much to encorporate an activity before bed. So lately, sleep has become my ME time. Yes, sleep. However, lately, I haven't been sleeping that well. I've been waking up in the middle of the night for whatever reason (too hot or a nightmare) and cannot get back to sleep until a couple of hours later. So maybe starting a routine of 30 minute ME down time would help me feel balanced.

So what do you do during your down time? DO you have down time? Do you have to schedule your down time into your life? Or are you like me and realize you're doing something ridiculous during the time you could have spent using for yourself?

Oh Canada... you have quirky quarters

2010-07-15T10:12:00.000-04:00

It's about that time of the day where I'm craving a vending machine snack. I rummage through my change and find the amount I need and head to the cafeteria. I know what I want, and I even know the code that needs to be selected to retrieve my glorious vending treat.

I insert the change and hear the clink clink clink, then a clunk. What was that? I feel inside the change dispenser and there lies that mischievous Canadian quarter! I didn't realize I had it since it's almost identical to the US quarter.

We use those silly Canadian quarters for US quarters. They are accepted at stores and vendors but not vending machines. Nope, vending machines don't understand the language of the Canadian quarter.

So I had to press the return button on the vending machine and this fool machine decides to hand me back my change in dimes and one nickle. All 75 cents worth! I can tell you right now that is not what I had before starting this charade. But I take my change reluctantly, along with the good ol' Canadian quarter and trek back to my cubie where I find my wallet. I pull a mangy dollar bill out and cross my fingers it will be accepted. I dump my change along with that quirky Canadian quarter back into my wallet. It will have to be saved and used for a cup of coffee from the cafeteria ladies.

Have you ever found yourself arguing with a vending machine?

Separation Anxiety or Teething?

2010-07-14T11:33:00.001-04:00

We haven't experienced separation anxiety, except the past few weeks it certainly feels like it. My 19 month old son started a new daycare this week and things seem to be going well. J talks about school and the toys that are there. He will even tell his stuffed animals about school, so I feel good that he's in a positive environment.

However, over the past few weeks he has been showing signs of anxiety towards me when I'm dropping him off to daycare. He's also developed a clear runny nose so I'm now thinking this is link with more teething. Could he be getting the next round of teeth this early?

Today was hard. Today he sobbed so hard he had a hard time gasping for air. I try to make light of the situation but how can I not act concerned when he's being so upset? I encourage him and talk to him about how much fun he'll have playing there. I tell him I have to go but will see him soon. He knows this routine of me leaving for work. He's been in full time daycare since he was 8 months old.

So now, almost 20 months old, he's showing signs of separation anxiety, but is it mixed with a cold or teething?

When we come home I do spend some quality time with my silly putty. But sometimes it doesn't seem like it's enough and he needs constant attention until bedtime. I ask for smooches and squeezes but he refuses to do that too. I'm sure this is all a phase, but in the meantime, I cannot help but wonder what is really going on?

The new school has different snacks, since they provide the snacks for the kids. I send in his lunch. He's a picky eater so I'm sure he's not used to some of the foods they provide, but I think it's a good experience for him. They also have him sleeping on mats for nap time. Another change for him, but he does sleep on them. I just don't know how hard it is for him to sleep, or if he's even getting a good nap. Only time will tell and I'm sure it will take plenty of time for him to become adjusted to the new routines, kids, and caregivers.

It pains me to sit at work knowing he's not feeling well, missing me, missing the old routine. I tell myself he is in good hands, he has a busy schedule, and at some point he'll forget about this transition. Until then, I sit and wonder how to work through this separation anxiety and teething issues.

How have you handled your little ones separation anxiety moments?

Smooches at the new school

2010-07-13T11:07:00.000-04:00

It's day two at your new school and you look forward to the day. You talk about the toys and what you like to play with. You mention the purple car and I remember seeing the purple car when we visited last week.

I sing a silly song as we drive to school, "We're going to school... to school.. to school..." just like the tune from Peter Pan and Following the Leader. You smile and say again and I sing the song all the way to school.

We park the car and walk through the outside play area. You scan to the toys and cars and try to make your escape to them. You aren't ready to go inside. You're such an outside kid and would play outside all day if you could. So today I needed to pick you up and take you into the classroom. The kids and teachers are waiting for you. They greet you and you become hesitant about me leaving you again.

I'm sure the new routines will be an adjustment, especially now that you are sleeping on a mat for naps. But the teachers reassure me you are adjusting well.

I unpack your lunch and tuck your Pooh bear into your cubbie. You're clinging to my leg and whining. I rub your back and give you a big squeeze and remind you how much fun you'll be having today. You seem weary about it all but I can also see it's a small game you are playing with me.

I tell you it's time for me to leave so you can go play. I ask you for a smooch and you turn your head away. I know you're upset with me for leaving you in general. I know you enjoy playing with me but there are some days when we have to spend some time apart. I tell you I love you and take your head in my hands and give you a smooch on your cheek. You don't fight my kiss and you find a truck to play with and you whine.

You watch me leave and you're not happy, but I know my smooch will need to last all day until I see you again. I'll smooch you later today when I pick you up at your new school.

Sometimes it's hard to move on... Sometimes it's not.

2010-07-09T13:17:00.000-04:00

Change occurs every day whether you make it happen or not. Some people take change hard, others thrive on it. Some people make the change, others ride the coat tails and go with the flow. Drama usually acompanies change and most times it's not so good.

I've been dealing with some drama over the past few weeks and I'm happy to be able to say, It's all over. Moving on and the changes I've made will hopefully make some clear days ahead. Hopefully I'll be able to sleep better too!

Generally, change doesn't bother me. I like the way change makes me feel, and sometimes I even like it if I'm not in control of the change. The unknown can be a good thing, sometimes.

The drama I've had was one I needed to personally take care of and make something better happen. I cannot wait for the new change to take place! I have the same feeling from Christmas morning, or the night before I'm schedule to fly to a warm, sunny, sandy vacation.

There is no vacation coming up, but the feelings are very similar. It's been a long time coming, but I'm able to close a chapter of my life and start a new one. :)

Tails

2010-07-08T09:02:00.000-04:00

It's interesting to see what you discover and which discoveries you find fascinating. This week in our car rides home you've been talking about tails. Maybe it's because you have water toys in the car from your doctors office. Instead of stickers or candy, they give you water toy fishies. So you like pointing out the tail on the fish and then you start telling me monkeys have tails too. You say: Aah Aah which is your version of what the monkey says. We go through the list of tails on any animal. Fishies, monkeys, elephants, giraffs, turtles, kitties, puppies... the list goes on and on.

I ask you if Mama has a tail. You pause to think and you say Hmmmmmm. I watch you think and I wonder if you really don't know or if you're pondering the question and trying to imagine me with a tail. After a moment I chime in to say Noooooo and shake my head. Mama doesn't have a tail! That's just silly. You giggle and shake your head with me and say Nooooooo. We repeat this about Dada and about himself. All responding with a Noooooo, no tail...

It becomes a game and we talk about tails for what seems like a half hour. And it probably is because you're that fascinated with the topic. I love our conversations because you're such a sponge and you're retaining a lot of information. I love seeing what sort of things you remember.

I look forward to our car rides together. It's there that we have incredible discoveries and laughter together. :)

Lemongrass & Sage Soap by Fields of Ambrosia

2010-07-07T15:25:00.000-04:00

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I've been using this soap for almost a week. A few weeks ago I visited Fields of Ambrosia and bought lemongrass & sage because I enjoyed the fresh scent. I imagined myself waking up to the sweet smells. Unfortunately the scent is not as strong as I had imagined.

The bar is creamy and has a light lather. Their website indicates they handmake all their soaps with saponified oils: palm, castor, coconut, avocado, castor, shea butter, soy vegetable shortening, and spring water.

My skin feels clean and not squeeky clean like some of the soaps I've tried in the past. There are no bits of ingredients like oatmeal to create an exfoliation. I don't like too much exfoliation on my skin during the summer months, so this bar works well.

I do miss having a stronger scent, but I'd give this bar on a scale of 1-5 Bubbles: 3.5 Bubbles

big boy undies

2010-07-07T08:58:00.000-04:00

J is 19 months old and is slowly learning about the potty. He doesn't visit it often because we haven't really started potty training. But he does sit on the potty every night before he jumps in the bath. He enjoys his time on the potty. We have a small potty seat that sits on top of our seat. It's plain, white with black trim, and has a bear on it. He loves that bear and constantly tells us there's a beah on it. You gotta love the fact he's inheriting the New England accent.

About a week ago J went pee pee on the potty! We were very excited, jumped up and down, gave high fives, and cheered. We had a crazy party in the potty room. I started to think about how I wanted to move forward with these special moments. So I decided to create my own potty charts for him. I bought some simple 1st grade lined paper and used different colored crayons to create a chart. J's Potty Chart is written on the top and I added a fun Elmo sticker in the first square to identify the first pee pee on the potty.

J loves that chart, or rather, he loves the Elmo sticker that's on that chart. I doubt he understands what it means, but I hope he learns more as soon as he goes pee pee on the potty again. He still prefers to go pee pee in the bath, and will even stand there and tell me he's going pee pee. I do tell him: Yes, you are going pee pee but you're in the tub, someday you'll be able to do that on the potty. I point to the potty and he seems to understand, but there is still a fear in his eyes about actually doing pee pee there.

I know over time things will just click. And I'm okay with waiting. He's only 19 months old. But I do encourage the interest he has, even if it's so minimal we only do potty time at night. Occasionally I've asked him if he wanted to sit on the potty but he has no interest.

I still wanted to be prepared and introduce big boy undies to him. I even bought them in his favorite characters: Seasame Street. But still, he was not as excited as I thought he'd be. So I thought, well maybe he doesn't really understand how he'd wear these clothes.

So I had him try a pair on, but it didn't seem to phase him. He wore them but didn't acknowledge they were there. Oh well. I'll pull them out again later on and see how he reacts. But for now those big boy undies will be patiently waiting for that big day.

Bubbles

2010-07-06T10:44:00.000-04:00

It's a short term activity, but we do use bubbles at home when we're outside. My 19 month old son is becoming very independant and is trying to do as much on his own as possible. Including blowing bubbles from a wand.

He hasn't quite mastered how to sniff through his nose to smell flowers. Instead he blows air out from his mouth. So you'd think he'd get the concept of blowing bubbles on his own.

I didn't mind that he would put the wand on his nose and blow air out his mouth. But after seeing his Daddy blow bubbles the right way, J wanted to try it again...

Yes, he thought it was like a popsicle, but he didn't eat the bubbles. Licking them was enough to make him realize something wasn't right.

After giving the yucky face we reminded him that we don't eat the bubbles. He knew he was being silly...

Bumpa

2010-07-01T10:20:00.000-04:00

Bumpa is my father. Bumpa is what my son calls my father. It took my son a while to warm up to my dad. Although my dad never gets goofy around babies, so it was hard to get a warm and fuzzy feeling from him. When J was a baby, he would cry, sob, while sitting on Bumpa's lap. Today, things have gotten better, although J is still a little weary about seeing Bumpa at first. But he gets SO excited and will yell BUMPA every time he sees him. And when we don't see Bumpa, J is trying to call him on the phone.

So when we had the opportunity to spend some vacation time with Bumpa, J was more than happy.

Bumpa & J waiting for a train ride up north.

This is how Bumpa smiles. I guess J is learning from him too.

Another example of Bumpa having fun with J.

There really is nothing like having a Bumpa. For some reason my son cannot stop talking about him. They have an unspeakable bond that nobody can figure out. But I guess that's okay.

Bert

2010-07-01T10:10:00.000-04:00

Sometimes I think my 19 month old son is weird, but I guess he gets that from me. I love every weirdness too. He's my silly putty of course!

Kids develop a relationship with certain toys or dolls. J knows and adores all the characters from Sesame Street, Mickey, and Pooh & Friends. Lately, my son has particularly grown fond of Bert. I don't know what it is about Bert, but he adores him.

So when we were on vacation and my husband spotted this Bert, he immediately knew J would fall in love. Of course, he was right. He giggled and squirmed and squeezed Bert with big hugs and showed him so much love.

Using the potty

2010-06-30T09:23:00.000-04:00

My 19 month old son has been interested in the potty for about a month now. We introduced the potty to him and he sits on the potty before bath time. Two nights ago he actually went pee pee on the potty! My husband was there with him while I was getting the tub ready for bath time. Unfortunately for my husband, there was some pee pee on him. He wasn't too thrilled and didn't show much excitement towards our son. But I immediately jumped in to shout, cheer, and give high fives as my little boy sat proud on his potty.

We have a seat that fits on top of our toilet seat. It seems to work well to set him there to go potty. I haven't invested in a small toddler potty, and not sure if I will.

Now that J has gone pee pee on the potty I'm now thinking about a reward system for him. I hear sticker charts or M&Ms work well. I may start with the stickers first to see how he responds to them. We also have a three day weekend coming up and I'm really thinking about taking this opportunity to work with J and the potty. Only if he seems ready for it.

I understand it could take boys a while to potty train, but I'm hoping that since he's showing interest now, we'll be able to use this window of opportunity to learn how to use the potty.

What about you? Do you have any tips on what worked for you when potty training your kid(s)?

...We all scream for ice scream!

2010-06-30T09:00:00.001-04:00

We were hot and sticky from being outside all afternoon. It was a humid day. The restaurant was air conditioned and empty. We had the place to ourselves. A perfect time to rest.

A perfect time for a snack. A very cold snack.

Ice cream!

We've shared ice cream before, but never like this.

A twist in a cone please! And a bowl with spoon on the side... just in case.

You were in heaven.

Returning to blogging

2010-06-29T15:51:00.000-04:00

Hello!

I took a week off of blogging. Actually, I took a week off from my daily routines and work for a much needed vacation. It was hard in the beginning. I thought about writing here, but I decided to give my computer a rest. I had so much on my brain, so much to type here.

Did I mention how much I needed a vacation? But now I feel like I have writers block. I have lots to share, I just don't know where to begin. All my thoughts are swirling in my head.

I'll get back into the swing of things soon, I am sure of it. I just have a few things I need to sort out in my life before I can sit and post.

Honesty is the best policy

2010-06-28T11:13:00.000-04:00

I'm not a good liar. I become too guilty when I try to lie. People can see right through me. So please, don't ask me to lie, ever.

Apparently there are people who feel there is nothing wrong with lying. They live their lies until they've become a reality. But it's never really real, is it? If you're living the lie, how could it be real? Especially when there are multiple lies told and there are multiple people involved who are also being lied to, that's never a good combination. The liar is always caught in their lies. It may take time, but karma comes back.

So if you lie, or are thinking about lying. Please... PLEASE... think about why you're lying.

I send my 19 month old son to a school five days a week. I have to work, so he goes to school. He loves the kids there. Unfortunately there have been lies from the caregivers. Lies about the laws, the rules, and the regulations. The parents were kept in the dark with a lot of things, but after all the mothers received a call from the state, we have uncovered too many horrifying evidence of lies. I do blame myself for not investigating things earlier on. I wish I had been more involved with doing background checks. I wish things didn't have to end, for the sake of the kids.

The state develops rules and guidelines for the kids. And the kids alone. Adults are not taken into consideration when the rules for the kids are involved. The state watches out for the kids, that's their job. I appreciate what they do for their job, but as a parent, I wish they could speak more frankly with me. If I'm not hearing the truth from the owner, where can I hear the truth?

In time, I am sure, things will become good again. But we're in limbo right now. J's new school won't be available for him until this fall. So we're stuck in a bubble and I'm having a hard time feeling grounded.

Do you have any horror stories from daycares? Do you feel like sharing?

Vacation

2010-06-28T10:11:00.001-04:00

Our family vacation ended yesterday. I'm really sad to be back at work today. So many things happened during my week off, it will take some time to share here. But in a nutshell, here's what happened:

We had a successful yard sale!
J got real sick with the hand, foot, mouth disease.
We went on a train ride, a really BIG train.
We went to Story Land :)
I go the hand, foot, mouth disease :(
We went to the Zoo!
We went to the beach.
We spent three long days at home and the weather was beautiful!

There is also drama with J's school, and issues with the state regulations and the daycare owners lies. It's a terrible mess. Someday, maybe I'll share it all here. But for now, it's still such a heated mess, my stomach is in knots and it's hard to talk about. For now, I'll just mention he has a new school but cannot start until October. I just wish I didn't have to deal with all of this WHILE on vacation. It's also hard when my husband can't talk about it because it's such a mess. So I'm left to deal with it all myself. I'll definitely need to write a post about that soon.

But I'm greatful for the time I had with my family.

Family

2010-06-17T09:57:00.000-04:00

I'm an only child. So I'm rather close to my parents. My parents are close to their siblings. I'm also the youngest of my first generation cousins. So growing up I was always the baby of the family. Most of my cousins are at least 10 years older than me. There was a generation gap between me and them. But I do have a few cousins that are closer to my age.

Growing up my parents and I lived an hour away from the others. But we visited them very frequently. Between holidays and birthdays, there was and is always something to do. We still gather together for birthdays, no matter how old you are, that persons birthday somehow snowballs into a larger crowd.

Some of my cousins have children, which make them my second cousins. These second cousins are much older in ages ranging from 21 to 7. My 18 month old son falls well below the age bracket in the family.

My husband and I live further away from where my parents still live. We're even farther from the family I used to visit frequently as a child. Over the years our traditions have changed but since having a baby I see the family is trying to keep traditions for the sake of the new generation: my son.

Since I grew up an only child and the youngest member in the family, there were always 'older' people around. When there were kids at a party, I felt it was awkward to socialize with them. But I got along just fine.

Despite the distance I have with my family, I hope my son feels just as close as I had with my family growing up. I hope he is able to develop special bonds and memories during the time we do spend together.

Somehow I feel he's establishing that bond already with my parents. We try to see them once a month and sometimes we see them twice a month. But almost every day my kid talks about his Bumpa and Nana. He plays pretend and calls them on the phone. We look at their pictures hanging on the fridge and he squeals with glee... BUMPA! NA-NA! And he smiles.

Etsy Mugs

2010-06-16T11:52:00.000-04:00

I love unique, rustic, large-handled, comforting mugs. I love looking at them, admiring them, and determining if I'd drink coffee, tea, or cocoa out of the mug.

This mug screams coffee to me... rich, bold, dark coffee. I love the scrolling details in the handle too.

I would love to sip hot tea from this mug. And look at that LARGE handle! I can almost see myself sitting on my sofa, wrapped in a blanket, and resting my hand through that handle and wrapping my fingers around the mug...

This set is adorable! They hold about 1 cup. Perferct to use for tea as a side beverage. I would use this type of cup during my mid-morning snack. (Yes I have mid-morning snacks!)

This mug looks so dainty, but it holds 20 ounces. This would be my I'd-like-to-be-on-vacation-right-now mug.

This is just a silly mug! This would be the perfect mug to keep at work. The seller makes these for righty or lefty's too and even has all kinds of animals too.

I'm not one for designs of my mugs but this mug of trees is interesting. The handle is inviting and I can see this mug being used for rich hot cocoa during the cooler season.

Friends

2010-06-16T09:16:00.000-04:00

I have you stand on the counter in the bathroom and look in the mirror while I brush your hair. You have crazy bed head and need to wet most of your hair to tame it down. We talk about school and I ask you who will be there.

Baby!

Oh yes the babies might be there today! Who else?

Oheeeenn

Owen might be there too, yes.

A few minutes later we arrive at school and I can see your friends peeking out the windows. They're already yelling your name and you are still in the car. You don't even know they're calling you.

As I unbuckle you from the seat I tell you Owen was in the window saying HI. You're so excited and try to see him too. I can't get you out of the car fast enough. I set you down on the driveway and you shuffle around to the house. Owen's face is smothered into the screen of the kitchen window. He's shouting your name over and over again. You have the biggest smile on your face and you run closer to yell back. EEahh! It comes out like 'toddler-talk' and you run back to me with glee.

We make our way to the steps that lead up to the door. You slide down a few times and say Whoa! I can hear the kids inside repeating whoa...whoa... , they wait with anticipation by the door as you climb up the stairs.

I open the screen door and see it will be a quiet day since there are only two of your friends there. The kids are there smiling and saying HI to you. You're still younger than them so you don't say anything back but stare at them. I say it for you: Hi Faith! Hi Owen! They're so excited they don't even realize they're not allowing us into the house. They dance around in stocking feet and check out your clothes.

We squeeze on through the doorway and you sit on the small chair by the shoe rack. I remove your bright neon colored Nike shoes, zippered Pooh sweatshirt, and Red Sox hat. The kids see you have a puppy on your t-shirt. We talk about the puppy. Then we talk about the shoes on the shoe rack. We talk about who's shoes they belong to. The conversation becomes a cycle until we've reached round three.

I hand you your breakfast and give you a smooch and squeeze. You follow the kids into the kitchen and Miss Amanda takes you to your seat for breakfast.

"Byeeee" We wave to each other and I say bye to your friends and wish you all a good day.

Cigarettes and School Buses

2010-06-15T10:37:00.000-04:00

I drive my 18 month old son to school every morning. I've talked about how we look for school buses and how it's become a routine for us. Lately I've noticed something a little peculiar about one particular school bus.

This particular bus always sits on the side of the road, every day at the same time. Usually I don't see the driver. Lately I have. What I see kind of irks me, and this can be another item added to my week of bitterness.

It seems that before the driver starts her morning schedule, she has a cigarette break. She is parked on the side of a busy road, stands outside the door and has her cigarette. The vision disturbs me the more I see it happening.

I suppose I should be glad she's not smoking IN the bus, or with kids IN the bus. But maybe she shouldn't be sitting on the side of a busy street have her cigarette. There are parking lots nearby that I'm sure she could pull into and have her 'break'. What break?? Her morning routine with the kids hasn't even begun, it's only 7:30am!

The whole thing seems wrong to me and it's not because I don't smoke. I know plenty of people that smoke. But as a non smoking parent I must confess, I think there should be a rule about smoking on the side of the road outside of a school bus.

The 18 month negotiator

2010-06-15T08:43:00.000-04:00

"Ihts... Ihts" He points towards the cabinets.

"Do you want some chips?"

"Yah!" He shows relief that I understood and he can have his treat.

"Well have some more peas and I'll get them"

After eating a half dozen spoonfuls he looks at me and gives me the eye his done. Full. But he's not full. He's waiting for those chips. He loves these Garden Veggie Crisps.

On another night: we're finishing up dinner and he sees Daddy having an Oreo. Daddy hasn't learned that we need to make sure we're all finished our dinner before having desert. But it didn't matter. Our 18 month old negotiator was at it again. His eyes were wide and waiting for approval to have a cookie of his own.

"Of course, but can you finish your chicken nuggets first?" He only had two bites left. He ate them both at once.

I don't like teaching my son about desert this way. We only recently gave him his first Oreo just the other day. He's not a kid that enjoys sweets. He really likes his fruits. But on occasion, we like to share a special treat. And yes, he did what he had to do in order to get that cookie.

It was only 1 Oreo too... but the result was one happy, messy kid...

If I'm too Square, then you're too Round!

2010-06-14T11:10:00.000-04:00

I've been feeling resentful lately and I'm not sure where it's coming from. I know what's been bothering me but I'm not 100% sure if it's the cause of my emotions. The only thing that can help me forget my issue is spending time with my kid.

I've been thinking about how to post about this and I still don't know how to go about it. So I thought I'd throw this out there and hope you don't mind. My emotions are running wild and I'm not mad or upset at any one thing in particular. I'm just having a moody moment.

Shouldn't we all be able to have a moody moment without having to explain why? So instead, I'll compile a small list of things that seem to have irritated me lately.

I've read a couple of horrifying books lately. I finished one recently, Little Bee, and as much as I enjoyed it, I am bothered at how disturbed it made me feel. I still recommend reading it though, I heard it's turning into a movie too!

I'm currently reading another book, I'll discuss this once I'm finished. But I can tell you it brought me to tears, yet again. How do I find these books and keep reading them when they are so sad and disturbing? I seem to thrive off of it...

Mass emails. I despise mass emails from an old acquaintance. I will save you the details.

The weather. It's been so gloomy, very cloudy and chilly. We've had so much rain my garden is NOT happy. My arugula is yellow. My grape tomatoes leaves are yellow too. My cucumbers look great! I'm still not very happy.

I feel like I'm stuck inside a Dr. Seuss book. Oh the Places You'll Go, or Are You My Mother? It's almost like I'm in a weird journey and I don't know what I'm looking for or where I'm going.

Are you having a bad day too? Please share!! I'll be sulking in the meantime.

Vitamins

2010-06-11T09:29:00.000-04:00

I have a multi-vitamin, biotin or B-complex, and even an Acai vitamin. I try to take them. Everyday. They help me feel balanced. But I lost my routine of taking vitamins. I recently talked about my issues with routines, especially for myself. But I find if I can get into a good system, my routines can stick. But I'm not there right now.

However, I do give my kid his vitamin everyday. I never forget. Except for this morning. OOPS!

He takes his vitamins every (almost) day and he doesn't mind the taste. He's been taking the same vitamin since I brought him home from the hospital.

As you can see the description indicates exclusively breastfed or partially breastfed babies and children are okay to take this vitamin. J has stopped breastfeeding when he was 13 months old.

My kid is now 18 months old and I'm considering changing his vitamins considering he's going on 2 years old. Wouldn't his little body require other nutrients? This was a question I forgot to ask his doctor at his 18 month appt. OOPS!

If my kid ate a well balanced diet, I wouldn't worry about the vitamins. But he's a picky eater, especially with vegetables. So I feel vitamins are important for him to take.

I've been doing a little research on what other mothers are using for their kids and I'm interested in what you give your kid(s).

Some alternative vitamins that I have heard about are:

Carlson's fish oil

Nordic Naturals fish oil

Nordic Berries

Animal Parade

Child Life Multi Vitamins and Minerals

Mightamins from Market America

So please share, what vitamins does your family use?