Set your goals high but not your expectations. ~Dove

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Gender considerations

I have a 23 month old son.  He's been my life since the moment I found out I was pregnant.  I didn't know I was having a boy until I was about 20 weeks pregnant.  My husband and I decided to find out.  It was our first baby and we needed to know.  We clearly didn't care what we were having, boy or girl, we were happy just the same.  So why did we need to know the gender? 

My husband needed to know more than I did.  I was happy with all sorts of gender neutral baby clothes, toys, and decorations.  A baby is a baby, right?  Blue and Pink don't really make the baby, it's the love, home, and warmth that a couple brings to a new persons life. 

But we decided to find out the gender.  We considered this was appropriate because we wanted to be prepared.  We wanted to know the name of our child before he or she was born. 

However, once we found out the news we'd have a boy, nothing changed with the plans of our future.  We still decorated the baby's room with green walls, white furniture, and a silly Muppet theme.  No bears, sports, dolls, or frills.  To me, we decorated a gender neutral baby room.  I decided once our son arrived, we'd make adjustments according to his personality. 

Ironically, we haven't had the need to change much, but we've added more 'fun' to his room.  At 23 months old he does in fact know the characters of the Muppets.  If we had a girl, I'm sure her love for the silly characters would be the same.  (I grew up loving the Muppets, particularly Animal).

The only difference in how we've raised our baby is the fact we have no dollies, no strappy dress shoes, no barretts or pony tail elastics.  I feel our gender neutral home is just that, simple and equal.  And the fact that our son does like the color pink doesn't mean he wears the color, but enjoys drinking out of a pink sippy cup.  It's a color after all, not a life style.  We color in pink and he even enjoys watching Dora the Explorer.  To me, there's nothing wrong with that, but to others, they may raise an eyebrow as to 'why'.

I don't ask Why, but Why Not?  Why Not let my son have an interest in anything and everything?  We can play kick ball or base ball, then color pink hearts and flowers too. 

I'm sure when and if we have baby #2 there will be more changes and more gender considerations.  Will we find out what baby #2 will be?  Or will we decide to wait it out until the baby is born?  It's a real personal decision and I'd like to think people would respect any decision an expecting parent would make.  To justify that someone needs to know because they want to buy clothing or a toy isn't enough of a reason for me. 

Yes, I have a son.  He's my child, my kid.  I hope that by the time he's my age the world will have developed a different outlook on gender.  I can only hope that society will encourage kids to listen to their heart and gut, and not what others say or think.

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